I shrugged. “I really want this, and I want it to be good for both of us. But I can’t control my subconscious when I’m asleep. I have nightmares sometimes.” And he’d already been in one, but I’d never tell him that. “I’m nervous that if I freak out, it’ll make things weird.”
“C’mere, Firefly.” He patted the bed next to him, and Thor jumped up.
“He wasn’t talking to you.” I gently nudged Thor aside and sat, leaning into Liam and feeling some of the tension fade.
He wrapped his arm around me, holding me to him. “This has been incredible, but it doesn’t magically change everything. I love you just as you are, Jenna, and I’ll be as patient as I need to be. You need to give yourself the same grace.”
“I do feel changed, though, and I want to be able to give you everything.”
“You are, Firefly. Your trust and love is everything. I know that if you have a hard time, it’s not about me. Letting me in to work through it with you is everything. That doesn’t mean I expect everything to go easily. Whatever happens tonight is okay.”
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“You never need to thank me for loving you.” He pressed a kiss to my temple. “I’d like to sleep on the outside, if that’s okay with you. Not that there’s anything to worry about, but I always want to be between you and the door.”
Warmth filled me, overshadowing my nerves as I tried to imagine us in bed like that. Would I feel trapped? No, I thought—hoped—I'd just feel protected. “Okay.”
“I’ll face away from you, and if you want to snuggle, you can be the big spoon.”
“I’m sure you’ll move in your sleep. However you’re comfortable is fine.”
“Jenna,” he said softly. “I’ll probably have an erection at some point during the night. I’m going to keep it aimed away from you.”
“Oh.” I wanted to say it didn’t matter, but honestly, if I felt that in my sleep, I didn’t know how I’d react.
“I promise, I’ll keep it away from you while you’re sleeping, and I’ll never do anything you don’t want.”
“I know. I trust you completely.”
“Good. Let’s get in bed, Firefly. I’m exhausted and I’m sure you are too.”
I was. I crawled under the covers and into the corner where I usually slept anyway.
“Do you mind if I sleep in just my boxers?”
“That’s fine.”
He took his pants off, folded them, and put them on my dresser. “Lights off?”
“Yeah, I have a nightlight that will go on automatically.”
He turned off the lights and came under the covers, lying on his back, only his head turned toward me. “Goodnight, Firefly. I love you.”
“I love you too, Liam.” And I loved having him here. I loved having sex with him. I loved everything about this night—and this man.
Liam rolled away from me and in that tiny bit of space, a niggle popped into the back of my mind, reminding me that not everything was perfect. I was playing a dangerous game keeping information from him, but I pushed those thoughts away and scooted closer, right up against his back, kissing his shoulder and wrapping my arm around him. I wasn’t letting Snake Eyes ruin today.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Jenna
I woke up clinging to Liam like a baby spider monkey, his butt and thighs wedged into my curves, my arm wrapped around his waist, and my heart and body doing crazy things. My heart was so full and vibrant, like a kaleidoscope bursting with happiness. That might sound crazy, but it was true. I really was that happy.
I felt warm and soft and squishy, completely content with Liam in my bed. In my arms.
I was amazed I’d slept so soundly with him that I’d barely stirred all night except, apparently, to get closer to him.
I was awed and excited that we’d had great sex last night. No, not great sex. Earth-shattering, mountain-moving, life-changing sex.