Terror lurking under the surface.
I kept a respectful distance as her body language demanded, but I watched her all night. She was friendly with everyone, but vigilant. She played pool with a playful competitiveness that made me smile at first, until I started picking up cues that made my blood boil. She was a decent player when the wall was behind her, leaning over the table to line up her shots when needed, which was often given how short she was, but she avoided the other side, and I’m pretty sure it was to avoid getting close to the men at the neighboring table. It made me want to beat the shit out of every guy standing there, even though none of them had done a thing to warrant her reaction or mine.
We’d spent a good amount of time together since that first night. Before Dylan’s injury, most of the guys met up about once a week, sometimes a little more or less. Not all the guys went every time, but I did anytime I knew Dylan and Juliette were. Jenna didn’t always go, but she did often enough that I went with hopes of seeing her.
The more time we spent together, the more I learned, and the more protective I felt. She played it off well enough to fool most people, but I was trained to pick up on the subtlest cues. She preferred to sit with her back to the wall, which I did as well, so we often ended up sitting next to each other. Because of my military background, I liked being able to see the whole room and ensure no one could sneak up on me. I hated thinking about what Jenna’s reason might be.
She rarely went to the bathroom when we were out, and if she did, it was never alone. She wouldn’t let any of the other girls go alone, either. She always ordered a drink but never drank it. She was kind and friendly, but from a distance. Physically and emotionally. It was in the way she scanned her surroundings, the way she nervously smiled at someone as she shied away when they got too close, and in the way her muscles tensed when someone touched her. She was quick to smile, but it only felt real some of the time. Other times that smile hid her nervousness. Fear, even. I hated it, but I was also strangely proud that she didn’t let it hold back her obvious friendly nature.
We were friends even though we’d only spent time together with the group. I knew Jenna liked me. Trusted me, at least a little, which meant everything to me. She was more relaxed with me than with any of the other guys—or maybe it was more accurate to say she was less wary, since she still wasn’t relaxed. We’d gently flirted with each other a bit, but her response of interest mixed with fear had me moving at a snail’s pace.
I hadn’t minded, though. From the very beginning, I’d had a deep, inexplicable feeling that she was worth it. And I naively thought I’d have as much time as needed to break through her barriers. But then when Dylan and Juliette broke up, I was devastated that I’d blown my chance. If we were closer, maybe we could have withstood their breakup, but we didn’t have enough foundation yet to build upon.
When they got back together, I vowed to stop pussyfooting around, but it took a long time for everyone to start hanging out again. First, Dylan was recovering from his initial injuries, and then he’d needed surgery for his shoulder once he’d rehabbed enough to handle it.
When we’d all gone out again, I was so excited to see Jenna. I’d missed her so much, and I hoped she’d felt the same. I was ready to lay it all on the line. But when she saw me walk in, her eyes got all big and scared, and she’d practically dragged Nicky to the bathroom. When they finally came back and I approached her, I saw a flash of excitement that was quickly overshadowed by nerves. She was friendly, of course, but her smile was fake and there was a wary look in her eyes. I hated seeing her like that, especially toward me.
Nothing had changed until yesterday. I’d thought the offer to drive her would give us an opportunity to talk alone. I could drop some hints on the way there, and if the night went well, on the way home I’d tell her how I felt. It was a shock when she asked me to dinner. I was so proud of her for being the one to initiate it. And hopeful, really fucking hopeful, that I could finally make her mine.
My phone rang and hope flared in my chest, like maybe my thoughts of Jenna had conjured her up. I set aside the sanding block and stretched my shoulders before turning over the phone. It was my mom, not Jenna. I swiped across to answer.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Hi, honey, how was your day?”
“Good, went for a jog this morning and now I’m sanding the back deck.”
“How is it going?”
“Coming along well. I’ll finish sanding and staining it this week, then I’ll do some landscaping. Should be ready for barbecues before the summer.” One year in my house, with theinside finished and the backyard almost there, I couldn’t wait to enjoy it with my friends and family. And Jenna.
“Tell us when you’re ready and we’ll make the trip up for your first barbecue.”
“Thanks, Mom. How are you and Dad?”
“Great! We discovered a cute little town just a short drive away, so we had lunch and walked around, and we realized they don’t have an ice cream shop. Every good beach town needs an ice cream shop, don’t you think?”
“Sure they do. That’s a great idea for someone who didn’t move to the coast to retire and relax.”
“Of course. I’m just saying it’s a good idea.”
I laughed. “Sure, Mom. I’m calling Chris and Emma later to place bets on how long it’ll be until we start creating the flavor of the month.”
She laughed too because she knew I was right. My parents loved the restaurant business too much to retire.
“Go finish sanding so you can relax the rest of the day. You work too hard.”
“Nah, I like being busy. I am going to go finish, though. Talk to you tomorrow. Tell Dad I say hi.”
We hung up and I thought about making a joke in the family text about Pop’s Ice Cream Shoppe, just to make my dad feel old, but once my brother and sister started, my phone would be buzzing nonstop. I’d save it for after my dinner with Jenna.
Hours later, after I’d finished sanding, showering, and relaxing for a bit—my mom would be happy to hear that part—I got ready to head out to meet Jenna.
I trusted my instincts. They’d saved my life innumerable times. And they were telling me Jenna was worth fighting for. I’d never felt this way about any other woman. I’d never had to, nor wanted to, work this hard before. If I could earn Jenna’s trust,she would be the best thing to ever happen to me. And I could be the same for her.
CHAPTER FOUR
Liam