“So…” I started. Liam waited patiently for me to continue. “Remember I told you that things with Brian mostly stopped after the second time I told my parents?”
He stiffened, every muscle tensing. “Yeah, I remember.”
“It mostly did, but there was something after that. Well, two things, but they were connected. I was in middle school, and some of the older girls on the bus were giving me a hard time. One day, two of them followed me off. They were saying stuff, and I didn’t want to go home with them right there, but I didn’t know what to do. I was scared, and then the next thing I knew, Brian was calling my name and jogging across the street to me. I felt like a traitor. I was relieved to see the person I hated so much. As soon as he reached me, he grabbed me and kissed me. A hard, possessive kiss, his tongue shoving into my mouth. I knew what he was doing, and some part of me was ha—” I froze, the word stuck in my throat. “I was hap—”Please don’t think I wanted it.But if I was doing this, I needed him to know all of it. God, it was hard to admit, though.
Liam’s fist balled against my side. “It’s okay, Firefly,” he gritted out. “You can tell me anything.”
I squeezed my eyes closed. “I was happy those girls saw it,” I croaked out into his chest. “I mean, it wasn’t even close to the worst thing he’d done to me, and I was also so disgusted by it—disgusted I’d acquiesced to it,” I rushed to add.
Liam pressed a kiss to my temple. I took a breath and opened my eyes, but I didn’t dare make eye contact with him.
“The girls had walked past us by the time he stopped kissing me. But then he called them back, and they came, because I wasn’t the only one who did whatever he said.”
I ignored the growl I felt vibrate through Liam’s chest.
“He said, ‘Do you know who I am?’ They nodded nervously, because everyone knew the star quarterback. Then he said, ‘Don’t mess with my girl. If she tells me you even looked ather again, you’ll be blackballed from every dude on every school team. If I hear one word from Jenna about you, you’d better hope you’re into the chess club.’ For a while after that, he was often there at the bus stop waiting for me. He’d put on a show of touching me and kissing me, and I didn’t stop him. Those girls didn’t bother me again, and I appreciated that as much as I hated it.”
“Fi—”
“Wait,” I interrupted. That was only the prologue to the next thing. “Let me get through this.”
He nodded and kissed my forehead.
“A couple of months later, he hurt his shoulder playing football. He was in a sling. One night, my parents were out, and I was sleeping. Suddenly, I woke up to Brian on top of me. I didn’t even hear him come in, but he was on me and I couldn’t move. He held me down with his good hand and I felt his penis…down there. He said he needed me. That it hurt too much to jerk off. He said I owed him for helping with those girls. I said no—I swear I did.”
Liam’s arms locked around me. “Not a damn thing was your fault, Firefly.”
“He begged, and I don’t know why he was so persuasive. It really felt like I couldn’t say no, even though he didn’t force me.”
“Hedidforce you. Force doesn’t just mean he physically overpowered you. Intimidation is force, too. Coercion is force. Scaring you is force.”
“He rolled off me, and instead of trying to get away, I made room for him on my bed, and he pulled his pants down and told me to jerk him off and give him a blow job, and I did. He didn’t even touch me at first. I just did it on my own.”
“Not on your own. He forced you.”
“Near the end, he held my head, and I felt like I was suffocating. He-he came in my mouth, and I couldn’t moveaway. Then—after he was done, and we were still on the bed, he rolled me off and climbed on top of me again. I didn’t know what he was going to do…I thought he might…” I choked on the word, unable to get it out. It felt too real, the fear I had in that moment. “But he just rubbed himself on me, and then he thanked me and said, ‘See you soon,’ before he left.”
Liam shifted, bringing both his hands up to hold my face. Fire raged in his eyes and tension lined his face, but his hands on me were gentle. “Those two times he abused you have nothing to do with each other. He didnothelp you. Helping shouldn’t hurt. Shouldn’t be scary. And he didnotgive you a choice. He used your fear to manipulate you. To control you.” He pulled me back in and held me tight against his chest. “I’m so fucking sorry he did that to you, Firefly.”
We held onto each other in silence, and it was so tempting to just soak in his rage-filled comfort, but I had to tell him about Snake Eyes. I might’ve freaked out the most when I was held down last night, but the whole situational awareness thing had been a wake-up call too, and I refused to be too stupid to live. Even though I knew it would unleash a beast in Liam, it had to be done.
“Thank you for trusting me with that.” He smoothed his hand over my head and down my back, over and over.
His warmth and security seeped into me, and I melted against him, exhaustion threatening to pull me under, but I forced my tired eyes open to look at him. “I have something else to tell you.”
“That was enough for one night. You’re practically asleep. Just relax.”
I wanted to tell him, I truly did, but his touch was so comforting, and I really was so tired.
“Okay,” I mumbled. “Later.”
“Shhh,” he soothed.
“Firefly,” Liam whispered.
I curled up tighter, too content to move.
“Firefly,” he whispered again, a little louder.