Liam though…he was real. And the image of Liam overlaying Brian overlaying Snake Eyes, all holding me down, their penises on me, that felt way too real.
“How do I make it go away, Thor?” I’d been doing so well. The self-defense class had been bad. But the day before that, at Liam’s house, it was so good. Now, though, the thought of doing any of that with Liam again….
Shivers took hold of me. What if I looked at Liam and sawthem, like in my dream?
Hell no.That couldn’t happen. I wouldn’t allow it.
I pushed the covers off and got up. Drank a glass of water. Washed my face. Paced the apartment. Ripped a book off the shelves. Then another and another. I wasn’t afraid. Couldn’t let myself be afraid.
I worked in a library, for goodness sake. I couldn’t be afraid to take a book off the shelf. There were no boogeymen hiding behind the books. No one was waiting to drag me off to a secret room. And I really, really didn’t want to be afraid of Liam. The feeling of him…them…on me still felt so real. I needed to make it go away before I saw Liam again, which would be in just a few short hours.
I eyed my phone on the ottoman. I desperately did not want to talk to him like this, but how else could I face it? Maybe I could just look at his messages to remind myself how sweet and caring he was. I sat down with the phone.
Liam: I hope you’re doing alright.
Liam: I hated leaving you tonight.
Liam: Please call me if you need anything.
On autopilot, I wrote back. It was the middle of the night, but I knew he wouldn’t mind.
Me: Hi
My phone rang immediately, and warmth spread through my chest, chasing a little of the chill away. “Hi, Liam.”
“Jenna, what’s wrong?” He sounded wide awake, and the worry in his voice made my eyes fill with tears and my throat fill with a ball of emotion.
I had to swallow hard before I could croak out a response. “Nothing. I’m okay.”
“Are you hurt? Is someone there?”
“No. I just…I wanted to say hi.”
“Did you have a bad dream, Firefly?” His voice lowered, soft and gentle like a caress.
It was on the tip of my tongue to deny it, but I didn’t want to lie to him. “Yes,” I admitted.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No!” He’d lose his mind if he knew it included him.
“Can I come over? Just so you aren’t alone. We don’t have to talk about it.”
Nightmare Liam popped into my head. No way. I wasn’t ready to see him yet, and definitely not in the middle of the night. “No, I’m fine,” I said quickly. “Really. Can we just talk for a few minutes?”
“Of course. I was working on some plans earlier tonight. Want to hear them?”
“Sure.”
“Do you like rides? Would you like to go to Six Flags?”
I did a long time ago, before… “I love rides, and the carnival games too. I’d love to go.” It wasn’t a total lie. I did want to go with him.
“Good. We’ll go. What sports do you like? We just missed the last Spurs game of the season, so we can do that next year. We can go to a minor league baseball game locally, or we can drive to Houston if you want to see the Astros?”
Despite everything, I laughed. He was like Thor, eagerly trying to cheer me up. “I don’t really follow sports, but going to a game would be fun. Any sport, any team.”
“We can visit my parents and go to the beach?”