She moved and I grabbed her before she was fully turned and ready. As much as I hated it, I needed her to get everything she possibly could out of this. Well, almost everything—I did keep my crotch angled away from her.
Jenna executed every move perfectly, shouting “No!” I let go and spun her around, grabbing her face and kissing her. “I’m proud of you.”
“Me too.”
I could have stood there looking at her smile all day, but Nicky interrupted to remind me it was her turn, even though it wouldn’t be as fun for her to grab my nuts.
I practiced with Nicky and Juliette, then reluctantly returned to the front of the room to demonstrate the last, and toughest, scenarios of the class.
Jenna was visibly uneasy but did well for the wall pins, and even the one in the prone position. Then it came time for the supine hold: lying face up on the mat with the attacker on top. Juliette and Nicky practiced on each other first while Jenna watched, unnaturally still except for her eyes darting around the room like a cornered animal.
“Firefly,” I said softly, but she still startled. Fuck, the image of hunted prey was too damn accurate. What the fuck did that asshole do to her? I slowly raised my hand to her face, caressing her, comforting her the best I could here. She tilted her head, leaning into me. “You’re safe. It’s going to be just you and Juliette, and I’ll be right here.”
“I know. I’m okay.”
I was starting to hate the wordsI’m okay.
“You don’t have to do it.”
“I want to.”
Juliette rolled Nicky off, and they both stood.
“Your turn, Firefly. Lie down.”
Jenna lay on the mat with shaking legs.
“Go ahead.” I urged Juliette to mount her, but she looked horrified at what she was about to do. “She needs to know she can do it,” I said.
Juliette nodded and gingerly sat on Jenna. Jenna’s eyes went wide with fear.
“Hands,” I reminded them. Jenna lifted her arms, exposing her forearms. Juliette held her wrists and gently pinned them by Jenna’s head. Jenna’s eyes scrunched closed, and her chest heaved with fast, shallow breaths.
Fuck. I kneeled next to Jenna. “Open your eyes. Look at me.”
Her eyes squeezed tighter. I gently traced a finger over her eyebrows. Rage threatened to consume me, but I kept my touch and voice feather-light. “Firefly, you’re safe. Look at me, please.”
Her eyes opened, latching onto me, and I nearly drowned in the despair swimming in her eyes, tears spilling onto her cheeks.
“That’s my girl. You’re doing so well.”
“Sorry,” she whispered.
“Nothing to apologize for. Ready to finish this?”
She nodded.
“Feet on the floor. Good, now free your hands. Rotate and pull.” Juliette released her immediately, but damn, even Juliette’s small hands encircled Jenna’s wrists. A man’s hand, even a young one, would engulf her. And when she was just a child… I tried to push back those thoughts, but it was like trying to push back a landslide with my bare hands.
“Bridge and roll. Throw her weight forward. Lock in her hand and foot. Now roll.” Jenna did it, and the second she rolled Juliette off, I pulled her to her feet. That was part of the maneuver, too, but I already deserved a medal for waiting this long.
I tucked Jenna into my side, and she grabbed handfuls of my shirt, plastering herself to me. I led her out of the room to the hall, and sank to the floor pulling her next to me. She leaned on my chest, and I held her close, her body trembling. I took deep, even breaths, trying to infuse a calm I didn’t feel into her.
It was big that she was leaning on me like this, trusting me with her vulnerability.
But it wasn’t fucking enough. I didn’t want her to sit on the cold, hard ground. I wanted her on my lap. I wanted to wrap myself around her. Cocoon her into me.
After a few long minutes, her body relaxed, and then, sooner than I was ready, she straightened up. “I’m okay.”