I got this.
I sucked in a breath and gripped the edge of the couch. “Brian...he...touched me.” My voice was small and shaky, the words burning like acid as they came out, but I said it. I said it, and now I couldn’t take it back.
My mom’s gaze slipped away, her lips pressing into a thin line, but my dad stared at me, his eyes slowly hardening. “Brian did what?” he ground out, his voice strained.
I looked down at the worn beige carpet, the weight of his shock more than I could bear. “He…he touched me, and he made me touch him. I didn’t want to do it,” I cried out. “I really didn’t.”
“He hurt you?” My dad shot to his feet, his voice rising as he paced across the room. “We treated him like family, invited him into our house?—”
His anger crashed over me, loosening something in my chest.
“But you—why didn’t you tell us?” my mom asked.
“I tried.”
“No, you didn’t!”
I met my mom’s eyes, something deep inside my heart needing her to believe me. “I did. The first time, you asked if he hurt me, and I didn’t know what to say because it didn’t hurt.”
My mom stiffened, a shutter slamming down behind her eyes. “I remember that,” she muttered, her voice edged with horror. “You said he didn’t do anything, though.”
The little bit of hope I hadn’t meant to hold onto crumbled, leaving that space hollow. Empty. Cold. “No, I said he didn’thurtme.”
“Same thing!”
“I was nine. I was confused.”
“You knew?” My dad said to mom, the quiet fury in his voice scarier than any yelling would have been.
“She said it was nothing!” My mom turned to me. “You said it was okay!”
“No. I...Yousaid it was okay. You said I was being sensitive.”
“Why would I say that? How could you think it was okay?”
“Kathryn.” My dad’s voice was low and ominous, a tone I’d never heard from him sending a chill through me. “Did you know about this?”
“No, I swear. She said it was fine, so I thought it was just a misunderstanding. He was just a kid too. The Belkes are a good family, and she and Brian always got along well. They were friends,” she pleaded, as though she was the one on trial, but then she turned on my dad, her voice turned accusatory. “Did you see anything wrong when they were together?”
“He tricked us!” My dad jammed his fingers into his hair. “That son of a bitch tricked her and us, and he abused her right under our noses!”
I flinched, but only Liam seemed to notice.
“But…but we all spent so much time together. Some of our best times were with Gloria, John, and Brian. All our vacations. If we didn’t have them, we wouldn’t have had anyone to spend the holidays with. We wouldn't have had anyone! And, and...” My mom grasped for words, looking almost desperate. “And youasked to spend time alone with Brian. Why would we think you had a problem with him?”
“Yeah,” my dad said, his voice laced with confusion. “You did ask to see him. And you were always looking at him when we were together. We thought you liked each other.”
Pain stabbed me in the heart. “No! I hated that you thought that! I never liked him. I hated being with him. I tried to ask you not to see them.”
“Oh God, you did,” Mom said. “I didn’t know why, though. How could we have known?”
Liam reached for my hand, but I pulled away and stood, edging over until my back hit the wall. I wrapped my arms around myself, holding myself together. “I tried to tell you. You didn’t believe me.” The picture from upstairs, with my sad, haunted eyes, slipped into my mind. “Couldn’t you tell something was wrong? That I was scared and unhappy?”
“No, you were just...you,” my dad said, dropping back into his chair. “You were always...reserved. A bit nervous.”
“Didn’t you ever wonder why?”
My dad swiped at his eyes. Shook his head. “How long did he abuse you for?”