Finally home, I parked and rushed around to help Jenna out of the car and into the house. Thor whined frantically as I unlocked it, like he already knew, and Jenna barely made it a step inside before dropping to the floor. Thor hooked his paws over her shoulders, and she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his neck. A gut-wrenching cry tore out of her, and her shoulders shook as she cried into his fur. Thor whimpered and scooched closer, looking up at me with sorrowful eyes.What can I do,he seemed to say.
I wish I knew, buddy.I sank down next to them and wrapped my arms around them both. Jenna kept hold of Thor, but she leaned into me.
Eventually her sobs faded into tired, uneven breaths. “Come on up, Firefly.” I helped her stand, keeping my arms wrapped around her.
It was late, and she was exhausted, but she needed to eat and shower. The doctor had wanted her to stay overnight for observation, but she’d looked at me with wide, panicked eyes, shaking her head frantically. When she said there were too many people and she’d feel safer at home, I’d helped plead her case, and he’d agreed to release her with strong antibiotics, an appointment to recheck her lungs in two days, and a promise to return at the first sign of any respiratory symptoms. Now it was up to me to take care of her, and I wouldn’t let her down again.
“Do you want to eat or shower first?” I asked.
"Shower.” She shuddered, and I kicked myself for not already knowing how much she needed to wash off.
I walked her to the bathroom and hesitated in the doorway. “Do you want me to stay with you?”
“No.” Her rebuff was quick and firm, although she smiled to try to soften the blow. “Thank you, though.”
“Okay, I’ll make you dinner and be right back.” I offered her every quick comfort food I could think of, and she politely declined them all.
“I can’t eat,” she said, her voice cracking.
“Just a little, please. Your body needs it.”
She finally conceded to a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, then gently closed the door.
I listened from right outside the door, not ready to let her out of my sight yet. She brushed her teeth, and my rage spilled out in tears when she kept brushing for so long, I’d be surprised if her gums weren’t bleeding. That was even after she already brushed her teeth a few times at the hospital. Once she was in the shower and I didn’t hear anything else, I raced down to let Thor out and make the best PB&J sandwich I could.
I brought her food and a glass of water to the bedroom, then waited outside the bathroom again, just in case. Steam billowed behind her when she stepped out, a towel around her body, and a smaller one on her hair, her eyes rid-rimmed, but she managed a small smile for me. I followed her to the bedroom, hovering as she pulled out pajamas, but she didn’t change, didn’t even loosen her grip on the towel.
“Do you need anything?”
She shook her head.
My stomach twisted even tighter. Was I making her uncomfortable? “Will you be okay while I shower?” I asked.
She nodded.
I showed her the sandwich on the dresser, grabbed a pair of boxers, sweatpants, and a T-shirt, and hurried out to give her privacy.
When I came back, the sandwich was half-eaten, and Jenna was in bed, curled up under the blanket, the towel still wrappedaround her hair, and Thor wrapped around her. I lifted the edge of the blanket to join her, but she stopped me. “No.”
Fuck. I froze, my heart shattering on the floor between us.
“You never sleep in pants and a shirt. Take them off.”
Thank God. I still hesitated. “I thought it would be better, for tonight at least.”
“No. Take them off,” she said, her voice so steady it bordered on flat.
“Okay, Firefly.” I took them off and got in bed, rolling to face her, Thor between us. I rubbed my hand up and down her arm, which was draped over Thor, and held her teary gaze. “What can I do for you?”
She shrugged, just a tiny movement, but I could tell even that hurt.
“I’d really like to hold you, if that’s okay with you. And with Thor.” I forced a smile for her.
She tried to smile back. “I’d like that, too.”
We cajoled and pushed Thor down to her feet, and then quickly, before he crawled back up, I lay on my back and she scooted into my side, resting her head on my chest. I wrapped my arms around her, and my heart pieced itself back together a bit. “I love you so much, Firefly. I’m here for you, whatever you need.”
“I know. I love you too.”