“I said I’m fine.”
Fuck. I’d been excited for the kickball game and for Juliette to meet more of my friends. I’d been so happy when she agreed to go, but now I felt like the world’s worst boyfriend. Why didn’t I listen when she told me how much she dreaded any sports? I’d heard her, but clearly I hadn’t really understood the depth of her feelings about it or we wouldn’t be here now.
“What’s the game going to be like?” she asked nervously.
“If it’s anything like the softball games, it will be full of cheating and shenanigans. If we win, it’ll be because we were more creative in our cheating, not because we played better. Ifyou fall or in any way get hurt, no one will even feel bad for you; they’ll be impressed that you were so committed to distracting everyone. It’s total chaos and anything goes. You can’t mess up, baby, I promise. I would never ask you to do this if I thought you’d have a problem.”
“Now I know you’re lying. You can’t pretend that a field full of protective alpha firefighters aren’t going to care if I get hurt.”
I threw my head back and laughed. Only Juliette could be so nervous and funny at the same time.
“Tell me again who’s going to be there? And why are we doing this?”
“We usually have firefighter versus law enforcement softball games, which are big fundraising events, but when we were talking to the guys from Station 7 a few weeks ago after finishing up at an MVA, we came up with the idea to do a small, just for fun, kickball game with our two stations. It was Sledge’s idea, because of Beth’s agoraphobia. She’s tried going to the softball games, but it’s too much for her to stay the whole time. They once did a small kickball game with just them and some of the law enforcement guys and she enjoyed it, so he wanted to do it again with us. The other people you’ll meet are Chief and Sophie, Squirrel and Blythe, Moose and Penelope, Taco and Koren, Driftwood and Quinn, Adeline and Crash. And you know Cole and Ryan.”
“Why do they have nicknames and you guys don’t?”
“Apparently our station used to give nicknames a while ago, before I was there, but they kept changing them and the chief couldn’t remember any. There was a big scheduling mix-up and that was the end of that.”
“Okay. It’s a nice day for kickball. Not too hot considering it’s summer in Texas.”
Fuck. I hated the dull look in her eyes and flat tone in her voice, even as she tried to say something positive. I’d turn the car around if I didn’t think it would upset her even more.
“I’m sorry for pushing you to do this. I’ll call Ryan and ask him to tell the others something came up.”
“No. Listen, I’m nervous. But when I walk out of this car, no one is going to know it but you and me. Please be able to deal with that, because I don’t want to have to hide it from you too. I need you to let me be me when we’re alone. I’ll be fine when we get there.”
“Okay, Juls, I get it. I absolutely want you to be able to be real with me. I’ll do my best not to let it get to me.”
“Thank you,” she whispered, looking me in the eye and semi-smiling for the first time today. She swallowed hard, and in a slightly stronger voice, said, “Tell me more about them.”
I moved my hand to her thigh, happier than I could say when she grabbed onto my fingers like a lifeline. “Like I’ve said, they’re good guys and great firefighters. Whenever we need backup, I’m happy to see them show up. The women are all nice and down to earth. I think you’ll like them, Juls, and I know they’ll like you. They won’t judge you, especially for anything related to dyspraxia. Sophie stutters and Adeline has a seizure disorder, although it’s been better since she had brain surgery. Sophie and Quinn work in a burn center, so you guys can connect over the rehab stuff. Adeline will have her service dog with her, but I think Coco’s more of a companion dog now since her seizures have practically stopped, so you may be able to pet him. Penelope will have her support donkey, Smokey, with her, and he’s surprisingly friendly. Beth will also have her support dog.
“Does it make me a horrible, shallow person if that makes me feel a little better?”
“No, baby, it’s reasonable to see your issues and theirs as a similarity that you share. Nothing wrong with that.”
She shrugged. I kept going, hoping to keep her distracted until we got there.
“There’s a bunch of kids too, but I think they are all with Squirrel’s mom and sisters so the women can have a chance to play. They deserve all the good times they can get. That group had really bad luck for a while, but I think it’s all good now.”
“Like what?”
“Well I already told you that Beth has agoraphobia, but I didn’t tell you that it’s because she was kidnapped a few years ago. Blythe was homeless when she first met Squirrel. Penelope was a POW in Turkey. I can go on and on. And that’s justbeforethey were dating. I think almost all of the women were in life-threatening danger at least once while they were dating.”
“Holy shit. That’s crazy. I guess you weren’t kidding when you said firefighters have hero complexes.”
I laughed. “They’ve taken it to the extreme. Taco actually tried really hard to find a woman without any drama, but his problems still led danger to her. Juls, I swear that my crazy ex is enough to satisfy my hero complex. Let’s not bring any more danger to our relationship, okay?”
She laughed as I’d hoped. “No danger. Sounds great to me.”
“We’re here, baby. The field is in this park, and Station 7 is just down the block to the left.”
She nodded, the tension in her body returning tenfold now that we’d arrived.
I walked around to open her car door and reached a hand out for her, but she shook her head. She took a deep breath, rolled her shoulders back, lifted her chin, smiled, and stepped out of the car. Strong as fuck.
“Hi! I’m S-Sophie. You m-must be Juliette. It’s so nice to m-meet you!”