“She told me you said I’d walk through fire for you if I had to. I would. But what if next time I can’t make it through? What if I can’t be enough for you?”
“Oh, baby, you’re killing me. You are enough for me. Your heart, you mind, your love. You, Juliette. You are enough just as you are. You are more than enough. You are everything I want. Exactly as you are.”
“I’m scared,” I whispered.
“I know this shook you to your core, baby, I know. But do you still trust me?”
“Yes, always.”
Dylan looked deep in thought. “You know what, I’m going to change what I said before. I said that love changed us, but maybe it hasn’t changed us so much as it’s made us better versions of ourselves. I no longer worry about whether I’m doing enough, not because I don’t want to be a hero, but because being your hero is all that I need. I fucked that up, but I won’t let it happen ever again. Building you up, being your rock, your safety net, giving you, giving us, the life that we deserve together fulfills me in a way that nothing else ever has.
“I’ve watched as you’ve embraced the good and not as good parts of yourself, and you’ve blossomed before my eyes, baby. I know you’ve felt it too. I know you’ve been as proud of yourself as I am. But that doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten the scared, insecure girl I first met. I know that’s still there. Part of loving you is loving every part of you. I know you have all the issues that you’re thinking about right now. I’m okay with it. I love you exactly how you are, every single part of you. And I know you love me the same way, even if it scares you. We’re so good together because of all our strengths and our quirks.” He paused and tightened his hands, holding me prisoner with his earnest expression. “I’m going to ask you again. Do you trust me?”
Yes, of course I trusted him. But there was something else in his words…
I’ve watched as you’ve embraced the good and not as good parts of yourself, and you’ve blossomed before my eyes… I know you’ve been as proud of yourself as I am… Part of loving you is loving every part of you.
And in what Sarah had said...
If you love a person, you have to accept them exactly as they are. You can’t change what’s already there. You can only love and accept it, just as it is, the good parts, the ugly parts, and the broken parts too. Even if it breaks, you don’t throw it away. You fix it. You accept it.
What if it wasn’t really about loving, trusting, or accepting him? What if it was about loving, trusting, and accepting myself?
I was trying to. This wasn’t going right, though. I’d gone to see Dylan with the intention of groveling for his forgiveness and begging for another chance. I think I’d already apologized and he even accepted it, but somehow it had gotten lost. I was the one who walked away from Dylan, and I needed him to know that I came back to him. I didn’t need him to ask for my trust. I needed to tell him that he already had it.
“Wait. Dylan, stop. Please just listen to me.”
Dylan nodded and waited patiently.
This was one time that I couldn’t allow my words to get tangled and twisted. I took a deep breath and injected every bit of control I had into my words. “Yes, I trust you. I love you. I want to be with you forever. I promise to love you just as you are, and I promise to try to love myself the way I am too, so I can be my best for you. For us. If you’ll take me back, I promise I’ll never walk away again. I’ll fight for us. For you.”
Dylan’s arms wrapped around me, pulling me into his lap.
“Stop! Your leg!”
“Don’t care, I need you.”
“You have me, Dylan.”
“I’m never letting you go.”
“Never.”
“Strong as fuck, Juls,” he said, his face buried in my hair, his breath whispering along my neck. And then his lips were on mine and it was like returning home after a lifetime away. We kissed until neither of us could breathe, then we pulled apart just enough to gaze into each other’s teary eyes.
“I love you, Juliette.”
“I love you too, Dylan.”
“Wait, I have something for you.” I dug into my pocket, closed my fist around the tiny little thing that meant everything, and held it out to Dylan.
“Is this...?”
“My new key. I’m sorry I changed it.”
Dylan grabbed the key and grabbed me, smothering me in the best way again. “It’s okay, baby. Thank you. You don’t know what this means to me.”
I held him tighter, soothing my hands over his back. He sounded choked up and I hated that I brought this big, strong man to tears. “It’s not okay. But I knew you were determined enough to come in, and I didn’t know if I’d be strong enough to see you without caving.”