Nicky and I just laughed.
“Love you girls. I’m pulling up to my apartment. I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Wait.” Nicky grew serious, and I braced myself. “You were great at Nolan’s, and even though it may not have worked out with Dylan, when the right guy comes along, he’s going to see how awesome you are and not care about any of the rest, just like with us.”
“If. If the right guy ever comes along.”
“When,” Jenna insisted. “You’re amazing, and all your goodness outweighs your quirks by a ton.”
“Thanks guys. I’m home now. I gotta run.”
“Love you. Call if you need us.”
The next morningI woke up just as heartbroken as when I’d fallen asleep. Thank goodness it was Saturday and I didn’t have any plans. I barely looked at the laundry and dishes I should’ve been doing before I decided I deserve to indulge in a little self-pity. I curled up on the couch, pulled the throw blanket over myself, downloaded the newest release from my favorite author, and tried to lose myself in the world of Navy SEALs rescuing their women from traffickers and terrorists. Those were real problems. Well, fictional real problems. Still, more of a problem than a single disappointing date.
It was silly to get my hopes up after only a few hours of knowing Dylan. It’s not like I’d lost him after pining for months, or broken up with a boyfriend. You can’t miss what you never had, right? A few fantastic hours didn’t make him mine to lose.
There’d be other chances to meet a guy, someone even better. Someone else who made me feel so comfortable within minutes of meeting him. Someone else who insisted he had a good time even when I was a hot mess. Someone else who filled the silence when he sensed I didn’t want to talk and who wiped away my tears so sweetly.
Right?
Shit. I was an idiot.
What could I do now, though? Nicky could ask Mel to get his number from Cole. But what if he said no? When he asked for my number last night, he was probably just caught up in the moment, or felt bad rejecting me right to my face and never planned to follow through anyway. I wouldn’t blame him if he said no, but I didn’t need that rejection to be public for the other firefighters and Nicky’s colleagues.
I could go back to Nolan’s and hope to run into him again. Feel him out, see if the spark was still there, and just leave if it wasn’t. Yes, that could work.
I opened my phone to the group text with Jenna and Nicky. I bravely started to type, knowing that once I hit send, we’d be going to Nolan’s later this week. They wouldn’t force me, but they’d get pretty damn close to it if they had to.
Before I could finish the text, my phone vibrated. For a split second, my heart leaped. Did he get my number?
My excitement plunged when I saw the name on the screen. I sucked in a fortifying breath before I swiped across to answer the call.
“Hi, Mom. How are you?”
“I’m good, sweetheart. How are you? Are you doing anything fun this weekend?”
“I’m good. I went out with Nicky and Jenna after work yesterday.”
“What?”
I repeated myself, slower this time.
“Very nice. I’m glad you have those girls. You’re lucky they’re like you and not out looking for boyfriends.”
Fury blazed through me. How dare she compare two of the best people I know to the bitches from high school, whom she was apparently still defending. In her mind, I was still the same incompetent kid she always thought I was. Incapable of attracting a guy. No, even worse than that. So embarrassing my friends couldn’t even attract a guy in my presence.
Right or not, I couldn’t deal with her now, so I lied. “I have to go, mom. I have a busy day tomorrow, and I have a ton of errands and work to do first.”
A long pause followed, then she said, “I didn’t catch that, but it doesn’t matter. What are you doing tomorrow? Will we get to see you?”
My stomach sank. My speech could be hard to understand, but most people at least tried. I’ve had dyspraxia my whole life. You’d think that somewhere in these twenty-five years, my ownmom would’ve figured it out, but no, she was one of the worst. This was why I didn’t like talking to her. Or anyone for that matter. “No, I’m busy. I have to go. Talk to you soon.”
“Okay. I love you, sweetheart. Have a good night,” she said with oblivious sweetness and cheerfulness.
“You too. Bye.”
I threw my phone to the other side of the couch, but it just mocked me from there, inches outside of my reach. I was tempted to leave it there to make a point, but that would only make the hours drag slower, so I caved and leaned over to grab it. Maybe I’d be able to focus on my book now that I was done trying to find Dylan. Even if I saw him again, it could never work between us. Thanks, Mom, for that reality check.