He drew back, slipped his shirt over his head. “Yeah, they can treat it—with therapy where I talk to someone who really doesn’t give a damn about what a weak piece of shit I am—”
“You arenota weak piece of shit. Don’t even say—”
“—or with pills that dull my mind and leave my dick limp. But that’s not curing it. I was a SEAL, for God’s sake. I’m supposed to be one of the strong ones, not a guy who falls the fuck apart. At least this way, I do the world some good. I was there when you needed me, wasn’t I?”
“Yes, you were.” She stood there, all silk, sad eyes, and tousled hair, her arms hugged around herself. “After I saved your butt.”
Caught off guard by her smart mouth, he chuckled. Then he drew a deep breath, not wanting this to end with anger, his insides in knots because of what he’d revealed to her—and because he didn’t want to leave.
He reached for the complimentary pad of paper and pen that sat by the phone in every hotel room, and wrote down his contact info at EPIC and in Washington, D.C. He handed it to her. “Here’s how you can reach me. If I’ve gotten you pregnant, I want to know. I’ll support whatever you decide to do. You won’t lack for money.”
She looked up at him, her chin lifting. “I have money. My parents were wealthy, and I was their only child. If money is your only concern, then don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine.”
He didn’t like the way that sounded. “Whether you need my help or not, I have a right to know, Natalie.”
Her gaze dropped to the floor. “If it turns out I’m pregnant, I will let you know.”
And now it was time to say what he hadn’t been able to say last night. Somehow the intervening hours hadn’t made it any easier. He should never have let things cross the sexual line. It only made it harder for both of them.
He reached out, ran a knuckle over her cheek. “I’m sorry. I don’t want hurt you. I never wanted that. These past few days with you . . . They meant something to me. You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. I won’t forget you, Natalie.”
She reached up, caught his hand, pressed it to her lips, then looked at him through eyes that shimmered. “I won’t forget you either.”
Regret cut razor-sharp into his chest at the sight of her distress. She was struggling with this as much as he was. For a moment, they stood in silence, fingers entwined.
“I’m going to find Cárdenas, and I’m going to bring him and his Zetas down. I promise you that.” He probably shouldn’t have told her that—mission secrecy and all.
She shook her head. “Promise me instead that you won’t get hurt or killed.”
He couldn’t promise that, so he said nothing. “Good-bye, angel.”
“Good-bye, Zach Black.” Her voice quavered, her lips curving in a tremulous smile. “Watch your back. I might not be there next time to save you.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He gave her hand one last squeeze, then turned and walked away, her fingers releasing his one at a time, until his hand was empty.
THE TRIP BACK to Denver took a lot less time than Natalie had imagined. She packed her belongings in Kat’s luggage, since hers had been in her hotel room in Juárez when she’d been taken. Then Agent Chiago drove her and her friends to the small Sells airport, where she thanked him with a kiss on his cheek.
He grinned, his eyes hidden behind Ray-Bans. “We were just doing our job. I hope you’ll come visit the reservation again, Ms. Benoit, but under better circumstances. We have a lot we’re proud of here in our operation.”
From Sells she and the others were flown by helicopter to the Tucson International Airport, where a small private jet waited to carry them back to Denver.
As she climbed on board, Natalie was amazed at what her friends had done for her. She took a seat, feeling more like she was sitting in someone’s living room than on a plane. “Thanks for arranging all of this. It’s incredible.”
They all stared at her.
“We can’t take credit for this. How much do you think they’re paying cops these days, anyway?” Marc sat and stretched out his long legs. “McBride set it up.”
Gabe sat across from her. “He wants to keep the fact that you’re back a secret until you’re farther away from the border.”
“Oh.” She remembered him saying something about a media blackout when the Shadow Wolves found them. But a chartered jet? A helicopter ride?
“Got enough leg room there, Rossiter?” Marc asked.
“You bet. If not, I’ll just make use of the overhead bin.”
Kat shook her head, sharing a glance with Natalie, Alissa asleep in her lap.
But Natalie barely noticed the good-natured male ribbing, her gaze traveling over the luxurious cabin.