CHAPTER 20
FRESH FROM A long, hot shower, Natalie finished drying her hair then slipped into the nightgown Zach had bought for her.
She hadn’t known he’d packed her clothes until she’d come back to her room and found them sitting on her bed, a bit wrinkled but otherwise brand-new. To think that he had carried these things all the way from Altar . . .
At least she would have this reminder of him.
Fighting a looming sense of depression, she brushed her teeth, then drew down the covers. Emotionally exhausted but not sleepy, she was about to switch on the television, when someone knocked on the door. She stood, stared at the door, afraid to open it, afraid he’d come to say good-bye.
You can’t just leave him standing there.
Pulse tripping, she crossed the room and opened the door. “Kat!”
“I hope I’m not bothering you.”
“Don’t be silly. It’s so good to see you!” And it was.
They drew together in a tight hug, then sat on the bed like girls at a high school slumber party, Natalie in her nightgown, Kat in a red broomstick skirt and a white blouse, her long, dark hair pulled back in a silver barrette. But the topic of their conversation was much more sinister than anything Natalie could have imagined as a teenager.
She told Kat what had happened from the moment the bus was attacked to the arrival of the Shadow Wolves, leaving out only the intimate details of her relationship with Zach. But sharing her story with Kat was different than sharing it with Agent Chiago. Giving a deposition was all about facts. This was about feelings, too.
By the time she finished, they were both in tears, a box of tissues sitting on the bed between them.
“When Julian told us that we probably wouldn’t see you again, I thought I was going to throw up.” Kat wiped tears from her cheeks. “I’m ashamed to say it, but I tried not to think about what they might be doing to you because I couldn’t stand it. I prayed for you every day. We held a special sweat lodge to pray for you.”
“Thank you.” Natalie gave Kat’s hand a squeeze, more touched than she could convey. “And thank you for cracking Zach’s code. I had no idea what I was saying when I read that over the phone.”
“Zach must be a very special man to do all that he did for you. Gabe tells me he’s a former Navy SEAL, a Medal of Honor recipient, and a deputy U.S. marshal.”
Natalie couldn’t help but smile, a bittersweet ache in her chest. “He’s . . . incredible. The pain he endured, the way he watched out for me, his ability to strategize, even the way he moves—I’ve never seen anyone who can do what he does. He put his life on the line for me.”
“You did the same for him.” Kat gave her hand a squeeze. “Breaking out of that filthy, infested cell, beating the heck out of that Zeta guard, setting Zach free when you could have left him behind—that was incredibly brave, too, you know.”
Coming from Kat, this felt to Natalie like a great compliment.
“Zach is the brave one. What they put him through . . . If you had heard his screams . . .” She shuddered. “I only met him five days ago, but it feels like so much longer than that. Now he’s going back to his life, and I’m going back to mine. And I’m going to miss him.”
“You care about him. I can tell.”
And then Natalie could keep it to herself no longer. “I . . . I had sex with him.”
Strangely, Kat didn’t seem surprised by this revelation. Maybe it was obvious. Then again, Kat was very good at reading people.
Natalie went on. “Being with him is . . . amazing. But now he’s leaving. And that really stinks because I didn’t think I could even have feelings for a man.”
Kat looked at her, puzzled. “What do you mean?”
“I was engaged once.”
Telling Zach about Beau must have opened up something inside her. She found herself telling Kat about her life before the storm and how Beau and her parents had died and why, tears spilling down her cheeks.
“I loved Beau so much, Kat. For six years, I’ve spent every moment of my life missing him. And some part of me feels guilty not because I had sex with Zach, but because it didn’t make me think of Beau. I want to move on with my life. I want to have love again. But I don’t want to forget Beau.”
For a moment, Kat said nothing.
“The Lakota have a special way of dealing with mourning. They spend a year acknowledging their grief, and then they hold a Wiping of the Tears Ceremony so that they can move beyond sadness. You haven’t yet wiped away your tears.” She picked up a tissue and with great tenderness dabbed Natalie’s cheeks. “Moving on and finding love again doesn’t mean you have to forget Beau. He will always be there, inside you, in your memories. Moving on only means that you wipe your tears away—and let yourself live and love again.”
Natalie had never thought of it quite like that before. “Thank you.”