With his last ounce of control, he pulled out of her, his entire body screaming in protest. His wet cock hovered above her for just a second before erupting into spasms, white ribbons of cum shooting onto her belly, a frustrated climax stuttering through him.
That’s what you get for not having a condom handy, McBride.
With that thought, he sank onto her, sweaty and spent.
HAPPILY EXHAUSTED, NATALIE watched Zach wipe semen off her belly with a hot, wet washcloth, his lips trailing little kisses across her clean, wet skin. She let her fingers wander through his hair and along his stubble-rough jaw, trying to ignore a growing sense of guilt, desperate to hold on to this feeling—the languid afterglow of great sex.
But the guilt was there, niggling at her, refusing to go away.
She didn’t feel bad that she’d had sex with Zach. And she certainly didn’t feel guilty for enjoying it. And she had enjoyed it, every unbelievable minute of it.
But what she’d realized—and what had begun to gnaw at her—was the fact that not once during the time she and Zach were making love had she thought of Beau.
ZACH HELD NATALIE, watched her sleep, his own eyelids heavy, a warm knot of emotion in his chest. He knew he should kick his own ass, but he wasn’t going to. He’d broken his own rules—and he didn’t give a damn. There was no way to undo what he’d done tonight, and he wouldn’t undo it even if he could.
He’d broken down in front of her, let the weakness inside of him show. But she hadn’t turned away from him. She hadn’t judged him. Instead, she’d accepted him, comforted him, given herself to him.
He’d never known a woman like Natalie.
But he didn’t want to hurt her. He was going to have to be honest so she’d understand. Just because they’d had sex didn’t mean they had a future. He hadn’t been joking when he’d said his life wasn’t the kind of life a man shared with a woman. He was rarely home. He spent most of his time on assignment. And unless he was very careful, he’d wind up in a body bag. He didn’t want to put any woman through that.
But it wasn’t just the dangerous and demanding job.
It washim.
He’d spent a good nine months trying to get back in the swing of everyday civilian life after his discharge from the navy, but it hadn’t worked. His nightmares had gotten so bad that he’d eventually come to dread sleeping. He’d taken up drinking, hoping to knock himself out, to drown his demons in scotch. But that hadn’t worked. As for gainful employment, he hadn’t been able to find, much less keep, a decent job. How was a man supposed to go from fighting in a war to sitting at a damned desk all day?
It hadn’t been long after that that he’d seen a recruitment ad for the U.S. Marshal Service. And he’d known that was the answer—going back to war. Granted, the war the Marshal Service fought was very different than the one he’d fought while in the navy. But it was the same basic principle—find the bad guys and deal with them. Zach had embraced that mission and never looked back.
But the bottom line was that he didn’t know how to live a civilian life any longer. He could never be the family man with the house in the suburbs, the wife, the two kids, and the dog. The only way he knew how to go on was to keep fighting.
Natalie deserved a full and happy life with a man who wasn’t fucked up or in the line of fire, and he aimed to see she got her chance at it. He would get her safely home even if it cost him every last drop of his blood. But then they would go their separate ways. It sucked for him, really, because if ever he’d met a woman who made him feel . . .
No, he couldn’t let himself go there.
He glanced over to make sure the Glock was on the nightstand, then closed his eyes, held her closer, and let sleep take him. This time, he didn’t dream.
CHAPTER 14
NATALIE WOULD NEVER again take for granted the simple pleasure of waking up in a man’s embrace. Her body floating, she opened her eyes to find her head resting on Zach’s chest, their legs twined together, one strong arm wrapped protectively around her. He was still asleep, his breathing deep and even. She closed her eyes and dozed, savoring the feeling of lying skin to skin beside him, refusing to let herself think.
When she awoke again, he was still asleep, one arm around her, the other stretched over his head. Somehow the two of them had kicked off the sheet, which was now tangled around their knees, leaving them both exposed. Though they’d made love last night, she hadn’t gotten so much as a glimpse ofthatpart of him. But now with daylight filtering through the curtains, all she could do was stare.
Oh . . . my . . . stars!
To say he was well endowed was an understatement. Soft but not small, his penis lay across the upper part of his right thigh, the glans pointing toward her, veins visible just beneath the skin of the shaft. It was rooted in a thatch of dark hair, his testicles relaxed against his thighs, the left one lower than the right. She found the sight of him primal, erotic, beautiful.
She let her gaze travel upward, over his six-pack and up to his chest, with its well-defined pecs and dark, flat nipples. Although she didn’t want to wake him, she couldn’t resist touching him, her fingers trailing through the dark curls on his chest, her thoughts returning to last night.
She didn’t regret it—having sex with him. She’d gone so long without a man’s touch. And Zach’s touch was magic, giving her back a part of herself that she’d thought she’d lost. Yes, sex with Beau had been wonderful. But sex with Zach had been wonderful, too—and very intense.
Just like the man.
Everything about last night had been perfect. The way he’d kissed her as if his life depended on it. The way he’d taken his time with her, not rushing things. The way he’d held himself back, bringing her to that second astonishing climax. The way he’d met her gaze as he’d come, a pleading look in his eyes, an expression akin to pain on his face, every muscle in his body straining.
You’re so . . . damned . . . beautiful!
Although she’d entirely forgotten about contraception, he hadn’t. He’d pulled out in good time, sacrificing some of his own pleasure for her. She wouldn’t have expected that kind of thoughtfulness from a man who lived on the dark side.