“What does that even mean? How does the fact that my sisters left their people and their culture behind influence my decision?”
“Maybe they hurt you, and you’re just determined to show them that you’re not like them.”
Well, that made too much sense.
“Have you prayed about it?”
“What do you think? Of course, I have.” Jason knew he’d had a bit too much to drink, but that was no excuse for snapping at Ren. “Sorry, man.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Ren took a sip of his beer. “Help me understand. Your grandma made you promise not to abandon your O’odham people, and you think that means you can’t leave Sells to go live with your Lakota hottie. Am I right?”
“Yeah.”
“How does living in another place mean you abandon the O’odham?”
What was Ren’s problem? What didn’t he understand?
Jason spoke like he was talking to a child. “I wouldn’t be here, on the reservation.”
Ren laughed. “Being O’odham isn’t about where you are. It’s who you are. You’re an O’odham man through and through. If you leave, you won’t be abandoning us. You’ll be taking us with you. We’re inside you. We’ll always be a part of you.”
“That’s just semant… seman… just word games.” Jason wished there was more whisky in his glass. “What about the O’odham kids I coach in basketball? What about the Pack? What about passing on ourhimdagto the next generation?”
Then Teresa stepped out of the kitchen, corn flour on her hands. “You’re like a brother to us, Chiago. You know that. You’ve always had Ren’s back. So listen to your sister’s advice. You met the woman you believe is your soul mate, and you’re going to throw away your happiness and hers to keep a promise.”
“It’s a promise made on my grandma’s death bed.”
“Yeah, I got that part. Look at your arm. Does the Man in the Maze stay where he started? Does he just stand there, looking confused like you do right now?”
“Um…” Jason was actually drunk enough to look at his tattoo.
“Life isn’t about standing still or staying in one place. It’s a journey. Your grandmother knew that. I don’t think she meant you to promise that you wouldn’t leave the rez. She wanted you to promise to hold onto our ways. Besides, what would she want for you now? She would want the grandson she loved to be happy.”
Jason struggled to think this through.
But Teresa wasn’t finished. “Ren is right. You can’t abandon your people by moving away. Who gives a damn what your sisters did? That’s their choice, their journey. As long as you hold true to our beliefs, to our values, you’ll carry us with you wherever you go—and pass what you know on to your children. And why do you have to be hereorthere? Can’t you go back and forth? Isn’t that what roads are for?”
Teresa threw up her hands and walked back to the kitchen, muttering to herself and leaving Jason to stare after her.
Ren cleared his throat. “Brother, I think you’ve just been told.”
* * *
Winona woketo a buzz from her cell phone. She rolled over, picked it up, read Jason’s text message.
Good morning, angel.
Along with the text was a photo of him sitting in his pickup at a gas station, either at dawn or dusk.
Her heart swelled to see him. She saved it to her photo app and replied with a selfie she’d taken with the bear cub yesterday.
Good morning, my love.
This was her new morning routine. Every day began and ended with a text message from Jason, most of them accompanied by selfies or beautiful pictures of the desert or wildlife—roadrunners, a desert tortoise, an elf owl peeking out of a giant saguaro. He also sent emails when he could, and, on his days off, they chatted on the phone or online, sometimes for hours. And still, it wasn’t enough.
Jason had been gone for a little more than five weeks now, but it seemed like an eternity since she’d watched him drive away. She missed his face, the sound of his voice, his touch, his scent. She missed sharing meals and unhurried conversations. She missed falling asleep beside him and waking up in his arms.
She missed the sex, too, of course. God, yes, she missed that.