Instead, she was in tears. “It sounds to me like he deserved it.”
Maybe she’d misunderstood.
Quinn tried again. “I beat my own da until he was bleedin’, Elizabeth. That’s the kind of man I am.”
She shook her head. “No, Quinn, that’s what you did to survive. It doesn’t define you. It’s what you’ve done with your life since then that tells me who you are.”
He snorted. “You think I’m some kind of hero because I fought with the SAS? But that’s no’ true. My da threw me out that night. I had nowhere to stay, nothin’ to eat, no way to get out of the rain. I saw a recruitment office, walked in, and signed up.”
He told Elizabeth how he’d explained to the recruiter that he had no home and no food or money and how the man had taken pity on him, setting him up with a place to live and food and even spending money to get him through until recruit training.
“The army became my family. I went from beatin’ my da to learnin’ how to kill professionally. But I didnae do it for noble reasons. I did it to fill my belly—and to make sure my father never stopped fearin’ me.”
For a moment, neither of them spoke.
Elizabeth sniffed, let go of his hand, straddled him, sitting on his thighs, her hands cupping his face. “If you think tonight was a replay of what happened when you were seventeen, you’re wrong. You didn’t beat me with a belt. You didn’t lay a hand on me. Yes, you startled me and raised your voice, but you didn’t hurt me. Do you hear that?”
“You backed away from me. I saw fear on your face.Idid that.”
“Only because I was startled. I didn’t know you were there. Yes, the shouting unnerved me a bit, but I’m fine. I wasn’t afraid of you. And as for the army, you paid your country back by becoming an elite fighter. You gave them a decade of deployments, risking your life. I think that debt is paid in full.”
But some part of Quinn couldn’t accept this. “I’m no’ a good man, Lilibet.”
Tears spilled freely down her cheeks now, her smile quavering. “Do you remember when you pulled me away from Kazi’s men in Kabul? I’d never been more afraid in my life. They were talking in Farsi about raping me, selling me, beheading me. And then you were there, angry as hell and armed to the teeth.”
Quinn had wanted to rip them apart. “Aye, I remember. I saw fear in your eyes.”
“They shouted at you to stand back. One held that rifle to my head. You told him you’d cut off his balls. You moved in on them as if you weren’t afraid of them at all. You pulled me away from them and said, ‘I’ve got you, Lilibet.’ And I knew it was going to be okay.Thatis who you are. You will always be a hero to me, Quinn McManus.”
He wiped the tears from her cheeks, her words a balm to the raw, broken place inside him. “Och, Lilibet, do you know what you mean to me?”
Because he couldn’t bring himself to tell her, he kissed her, soft and slow, his heart aching for her.
She lifted herself up, pushed his kilt up his thighs, and stroked him to hardness. Then she moved the crotch of her panties aside and took him inside her, her gaze locked with his as she rode him. God, she was beautiful, the most beautiful thing in his world, the motions of her hips carrying him up and up until he was pounding into her from below and no longer knew where his body ended and hers began.
Scorching pleasure. Precious torment. A taste of heaven.
“Quinn!” Her head fell back when she came, bliss golden on her face.
He fell over that sweet edge with her, salvation washing through him as she carried him to paradise.
* * *
Elizabeth laywith her head on Quinn’s chest, tenderness for him overwhelming her. He’d poured his heart out, bared his soul to her. “You’re nothing like your father. You’ve always been protective of women. You’re kind, thoughtful, caring.”
“The day I met Jack, I called him a right wee prick. He kept goin’ on about honor and servin’ our country. He told me I was messed up. He was right. I learned so much from him—how to hold a fork properly, how to handle a disagreement wi’out beatin’ someone’s face in, how to be a man. I wouldnae be who I am today wi’out him.”
She had to fight not to cry. Now, at last, she understood his absolute faith in Jack. “He really was a brother to you.”
“Aye, he was.” In a moment, Quinn was fast asleep.
But Elizabeth stayed awake into the early morning hours, unable to take her mind off the boy who’d had to beat his own father and join the army to survive.
I’ll find the bastard who took Jack from you and Ava. I promise.
* * *
Elizabeth walkedwith Quinn back to the car, feeling like she’d just spent the day in another world. “I think the Great Hall was my favorite part. When the crowd thinned out, I imagined James the Fourth and Margaret Tudor there, surrounded by courtiers.”