“I think you’re just living out some kind of James Bond fantasy.”
Andris snorted, raising his tumbler of whiskey in a salute. “Right.”
Corbray rolled his eyes. “I know you two are probably more comfortable hanging out in week-old ACUs that reek of ball sweat, but I like not being in camo once in a while.”
“My balls don’t sweat,” Derek countered.
Andris laughed. “Dude, seriously? I have been with you in a tent in the middle of the desert. It wasn’t roses I was smelling.”
“It was your own armpits.”
Then Corbray brought them up to date on the lawsuit against Jenna’s father—and news from Afghanistan. Their attorneys were close to filing the case in civil court. Repairs on the compound in Mazar-e-Sharif were almost complete. The shot-up Land Cruiser was being sold off and replaced with a new armored Land Rover, which was faster, more maneuverable, and got much better gas mileage.
Then Corbray got down to the real news. “President Alghani has launched an investigation into the attack at the airport. Apparently, Kazi doesn’t have the authority to ground air traffic. Also, we may or may not have fed Alghani intel about Kazi’s ties to Qassim.”
“Kazi is up to his eyebrows in his own shit.” Derek searched the room for Jenna and saw her sitting at a table in the corner, a hand resting on Holly’s shoulder.
Corbray followed the direction of his gaze. “Jenna is one hell of a woman.”
Derek couldn’t disagree. “Yes, she is.”
“She’s smart. She’s brave. And, brother, she is crazy in love with you.”
Derek’s pulse skipped. “I know.”
Andris grinned. “You just scared the shit out of him.”
Derek glared at them. “I care about her, too.”
Corbray laughed. “Don’t give me that ‘care’ bullshit. We’re talking aboutlovehere. The Big L. The forever kind of thing.”
Derek was tempted to tell both men to fuck off. “What’s it to you?”
Corbray slapped him on the back. “You’re hell in a fight, but you’re not great with relationships. I’d like to see you happy. Try not to fuck this up.”
The two men walked away, leaving Derek to stare after them.
Corbray’s words stayed with him, running through his mind as he and Jenna drove home. Did Corbray truly believe Derek would intentionally blow things with Jenna? It was true that Derek had never gone the distance with a woman, but maybe he just hadn’t met the right one.
That shit is for fairytales.Youare the problem.
He had trouble getting close with women outside of sex, but it wasn’t just women. He found the emotional messiness of being connected to other people difficult. The closer people got to him, the more he pushed them away. He considered Corbray and Andris friends, but he kept most people at arm’s length, especially since Jimmy’s death.
No attachment, no loss. Is that it?
“Derek? Are you okay?” Jenna asked, bringing him back to the present. “You seem a million miles away. Did you get bad news?”
“No. Sorry. What were you saying?”
“Oh, just that Holly is terrified of how painful birth is. I told her to expect the worst pain of her life and to keep her options open. If she knows up front that she wants an epidural, she should make sure her practitioner knows that and is supportive.”
“Good advice.”
“You are a million miles away.” Jenna watched him, concern in her eyes.
Derek told her what Corbray had told him about Kazi. “I’d rather see the bastard get a bullet to the brain than come under investigation.”
This wasn’t what was on his mind, but what could he say—that he cared about her more than he’d cared about any woman and was terrified that he was going to hurt her?