“To be honest, the job at Women’s Health. The practice I worked at in D.C. served mostly wealthy women who wanted particular birth environments, like waterbirths with chanting and candles and a gong and a video crew.”
Derek raised an eyebrow. “Seriously? A gong?”
His reaction made Jenna laugh. “Oh, yes. Well, only one with a gong.”
He shook his head. “Okay.”
“But the women in Afghanistan—all they wanted was for themselves and their babies to survive. It made all of the designer birth stuff seem…” Jenna searched for the right word, not wanting to be dismissive.
“Privileged?”
“Yes. That’s it exactly.” It helped that he understood. “I guess I want to be where I’m most needed. Does that make me a do-gooder?”
Derek reached over, took her hand in his. “If it were someone else, I might say yes. But I saw how hard you fought for that girl and her baby. You risked your life to treat the rape victims in that village. You saved Malik’s life. You did your best to take care of me. Do-gooders want glory. They want to be recognized for what they’ve done. I don’t see that in you at all. You truly want to help.”
“Thanks. That means a lot to me.”
“It sounds to me like you know which job you want.”
“Yes.” But now came the hard part. “The salary is pretty far below the median for a certified nurse midwife, so I need to find a condo I can afford, something not far from the clinic and Denver Women’s Prison. Do you know a realtor?”
Ithurtto ask.
Derek’s gaze dropped to the table. “Yes. I can give you her number if you want.”
It wasn’t what she wanted at all, but she couldn’t impose herself on him. It had been weeks since she’d told him she loved him. The most he’d done is told her he cared about her, which was nice. But it wasn’t “I love you.”
“Thanks.” Jenna got up, carried their plates to the sink, afraid she was going to lose it and start crying.
He came up behind her, put his hands on the counter on both sides of her, pressed his lips against the back of her head. “Jenna, you don’t have to move out.”
She set the plates down. “I don’t want to impose. I—”
“You’re not imposing.” He turned her to face him, his expression unlike anything she’d seen.
He looked … afraid.
“Jenna, I … I’m …Ah, hell.”
She rested her palms against his chest. “It’s okay, Derek. I’m listening.”
He drew a breath, blew it out, tension rolling off him. He hadn’t seemed this nervous when bullets were flying. What was he trying to say?
“I wish this were easier.” He looked into her eyes. “I’m emotionally fucked up. I have trouble getting close to people, and I’m not always easy to get along with. I have money but no education. Your dad was right when he said I’m a nobody. I am terrified of disappointing you or hurting you, but I’m more afraid of living without you. This place wasn’t a home until you got here.”
Jenna looked up at him, stunned. “Are … are you asking me to stay with you?”
“I’m asking you to move in for good. I’m asking you to share my life. I’m trying to tell you …Damn.” He drew another breath. “I’m trying to tell you that I love you.”
Jenna’s heart skipped a beat. “You …what?”
“I love you. I love you, Jenna. I love you with everything I am. Stay here—with me. I promise I’ll do my damned best to be the man you deserve.”
Jenna cupped his face between her palms, sure he’d never spoken those words to any other woman. “You don’t have to change, Derek. We all have our rough edges. I love yours right where they are. My answer isyes.”
The naked relief on his face made Jenna’s heart swell.
He kissed her, spun her in a circle, the two of them laughing. “Champagne?”