“Yeah?” I sigh.
“Next time you lie to me and tell me everything is okay when it’s not... I’ll call your mom. Okay?”
“Okay,” I say.
Dillon brings the pizza in and sets it on my desk before sitting next to me. I groan dramatically, lay back on my bed, and then drape my arm over my eyes. Dillon and Connor both lie downnext to me and prop up on their elbow to look at me. I can feel them staring at me. It doesn’t make me nervous the way it does when Max or Elias did it. I know, now, that I am safe with them. Their presence is comforting and welcome, if I'm being honest with myself.
“Why are you two staring at me?” I ask.
“Just curious what you are thinking about,” Connor says as he pulls my arm off of my face.
“Well,” I say. “This is the first time I have ever let anyone but Aaron in my dorm.”
“Not even your mom?” Dillon asks.
“My mom sort of lost her marbles after dad died,” I say. “She is in a mental health facility after she attempted suicide. She tried to hang herself, but the rope snapped. She has issues with her long term memory but she can remember a few days at a time. I call her every few days so she doesn’t forget who I am. She knows I’m in college, but she can’t really remember anything beyond that.”
“Fuck, that’s awful,” Connor says.
“I think she was always unwell. Dad was just the person who grounded her and kept her from giving up. When he died... I basically lost both of them. She doesn’t even remember that he’s dead half of the time.”
“What would happen if he told your mom?” Dillon asks.
“She would call me,” I sigh. “She remembers some big things like when I was born, her and Dad getting married, and when she came up to the hospital after I was raped. I had pretty extensive bruising and I think it traumatized Mom and Dad to see me like that. If hewere to call her and tell her that someone tried to hurt me and I was trying to lie about it, she would guilt me into opening up. She knows she has memory issues because she writes everything down that she can.”
“Why doesn’t she write down things about you so she can recall them?” Connor asks.
“Because she’s reminded that she’s missing all of these milestones with me, and it sets her back a lot. If she tries to remind herself about Dad, it triggers a whole mess of emotions. It’s easier on her and the staff that she just doesn’t remember,” I explain.
“Your Dad went fast, didn’t he?” Dillon asks.
“Yeah. He went from having a slight headache for a week to being cremated in two months. One day he and I were playing catch and the next he was diagnosed with stage four Glioblastoma. Once the symptoms started, they piled on so fast that he couldn’t keep up in order to even begin trying to fight it. It’s the most aggressive type of cancer and they gave him a year at best, but we got nine weeks, two days, and six hours. The day I graduated high school was the last day I spent with him awake and out of the hospital. I think his body held on for as long as it could so he could see me graduate and become an adult,” I explain. “He died, Mom tried to kill herself the night of the funeral, I got a last-minute scholarship with Aaron’s help, and I started here in the fall. I lost every single friend from high school when he died and obviously, I don’t have any friends here.”
“That’s...” Dillion starts to say.
“A lot. I know. Sorry I just dumped that on you guys,” I say as I go to sit up. He pulls me back down and turns my face toward him.
“I was going to say that it’s unfair that you had to endure all of that,” Dillon says. “You didn’t deserve the bullshit we did to you.”
“I know,” I say. “I also know that you didn’t mean harm. I think you saw it as innocent fun until you knew the facts about my life. That put it all into perspective and you realize you were douche bags to me.”
“What can we do to make it up to you?” he asks.
“Be honest with me, for starters,” I say. “What is your goal?”
“Honestly?” Connor asks. I turn to him and nod. He glances up at Dillion for a moment before looking back at me.
“We want to be with you,” he says. “In any way you’ll let us have you. You are sassy and have never taken our shit. I guess it’s the whole want what you can’t have thing, but you are different with us than when we’ve seen others fuck with you,” he says.
“First, it’s because you two never take it to an extreme. You annoy the hell out of me, but you’ve never hurt me. Not like them at least,” I say. “I won’t lie... it’s super fucking hurtful that you two kept calling me charity.”
“I know... and we want to make it up to you,” Connor says. “All we are asking for is a shot to prove to you that we are more than the childishness that we have shown you.”
“In an ideal world, what way would you have me?” I ask.
“I won’t bullshit you, Chloe. If given the chance, we’d fuck you until you couldn’t remember your name,” Connor says. “But Iwant that long term. I want us to be able to do that every single day if we wanted.”
“Why?” I ask.