They have a tight grip on me as he forces his way into me, I groan in pain. When I feel more hands on me followed by another man forcing himself into my ass, while the other is still buried in my vagina, I remain limp. The only sounds I can manage is a grunt as they chip away at my sanity. They both grunt and moan as they continue to work in unison to rape me. If feels like it’s never going to end so I give up begging God for help.
When it finally does, I am dropped to the ground where I curl myself up to try and appear smaller. I want so badly to just disappear right now. I wish I could go back in time and make different decisions to prevent feeling this pain. The pain isn’t all physical. It feels like my soul has been ripped to shreds and my faith in humanity has been stomped on. Why did no one hear me screaming? Why didn’t anyone help me? I was just trying to go back to the dorm to sleep. I never should have worn this stupid dress.
The world is silent, and the sounds of crickets and toads mingle with my near silent whimpers as I cry. They left me here and I’m still tied up. I still can’t see anything. The world is dark, and I feel like if I move someone will grab me again.
“Oh my God. Bekah!” I hear a familiar voice shout, making me start crying again.
When I feel hands on my wrists, I scream, “Stop. Please don’t.”
Suddenly my hands are free, and the world appears again as the covering is removed from my face. When I see that it’s Keith, I know I am safe, but I still panic. I gasp loudly and try to move away from him. “Please don’t. Please,” I beg.
He takes his jacket off and covers me before wrapping his arms around me. “You’re okay now. I’ve got you.”
“Please don’t hurt me,” I sob. I don’t know why I’m saying these things. I know he won’t hurt me. I turn to him, and I am stuck somewhere between sobbing and screaming and the adrenaline of the attack seeps out of my body in the form of tears. Keith gentlyrocks me as he rubs my back and doesn’t say a word. Over time, I calm down enough that he can pull away and cup my face.
“Bekah, honey. What happened? Who did this to you?” he asks.
“I was just trying to go back to the dorm,” I cry. “I just wanted to go to bed.”
“Who, sweetie? Who did this?”
“I don’t know,” I sniffle. “I never saw them, and they never spoke. I only heard their... they didn’t speak.”
“Them? How many?” he asks.
“Four,” I say quietly. “The first two were by themselves. T-Then the other two...”
“Fuck, I’m so sorry, Bekah. I’m sorry,” he says as he hugs me again. “I’m going to call the police, okay? You should get checked out.”
“Okay,” I whisper.
The nurse shuts the door as she walks out, leaving just Keith and I in the room. He hasn’t let go of my hand for anything the last three hours. I didn’t know rape kits took this fucking long, but I want to leave. We need to talk to a detective now, then I can leave.
Keith hasn’t said much, but I think I scared him when I freaked out on him at first and thought he was going to hurt me. I’m going to have to explain that it had nothing to do with him and I knew I was safe with him. He is so fucking sweet that the idea of him being sad is painful.
“Thank you,” I say for the hundredth time.
“You’re welcome, Bekah,” he says as he sits on the bed beside me to look at me. The nurse took my dress as evidence, so they gave me scrubs to put on. I have no underwear on or a bra, but it’s better than nothing.
When Keith called the police, they had people there processing the area. They warned Keith that they would want a sample of his DNA, shoe prints, and fingerprints. He agreed without hesitation. They let him ride in the ambulance with me, mainly because I wouldn’t let go of him and he had no interest in making me. The paramedic who helped me was so sweet and respectful. It helped restore a little bit of faith in humanity to see how shaken the paramedic and Keith were and my rapidly forming bruises.
“I don’t feel safe,” I say.
“What do you mean?” he asks.
“At my dorm. I don’t feel safe,” I say.
“I can bring you to my house for the weekend if you’d like he says cautiously. You’ll have to put up with overweight cat.”
“What kind?”
“Maine Coon. He’s right at twenty-eight pounds,” Keith laughs. “His name is Frank.”
“That’s adorable. I’m going to make him be my friend,” I say and Keith smiles.
“He doesn’t interact with basically anyone by me, but you can certainly try.”
“Good. I could use a new one,” I say quietly, letting my eyes drop to my lap.