Vero doesn’t move; he lets them hit him and drop to the ground.
I turn to Ares next with a smaller bunch and launch them at him. “And fuck you.” I pause because I cannot form the right words for his transgression. “For whatever the fuck it was that you did.”
He sidesteps the projectile and tilts his head at me as if he’s confused.Fuck you, buddy, you know exactly what you did.
Picking up another bunch, I glare at Brawley. “And fuck you too. I knew your loyalty would never lie with me, which is fine, I get it, but fuck you anyway.”
I throw bouquet after bouquet as they watch. By the time I get to the last bunch, I look at them surrounded by flowers. “Fuck you all, you can kiss my fucking ass.”
I didn’t want to cry, I’m not that kind of girl, but tears are rolling down my cheeks.
They look at each other and Clay fucking nods, then one by one they put their masks on.
Clay pulls up his bandanna, Vero pulls on his Hannibal mask, Ares has his glow mask, and Brawley has his face paint on already.
My stomach drops. Fuck no, they are not doing what I think they are.
“Fuck you,” I yell, flipping them off with both hands. “Fuck you all for making me miss you.” I look at each of them. “You all fucking suck. I hate that I missed you. That I couldn’t be pissed off in peace without my chest feeling like it wanted to cave in.” I wave my hands wildly in the air because they are all responsible for how I am feeling. “I’m not forgiving you just because you sent me flowers, so you can all go eat a dick.”
I make the mistake of looking at Vero when I say it, and he smiles—I know because the skin at the outer corners of his eyes crinkles.
“Except you,” I say, pointing at him. “Because you would enjoy it. You can deep throat a cactus.”
“I’m so sorry, paper-cut princess. So, so, so fucking sorry,” Vero says.
“Don’t,” I warn him. “Don’t you dare say sorry, it’s just a word. If you were so sorry, you never would have done it in the first place.”
“Do you know what I think?” Clay says, and I turn to him. “You could have just thrown them in the garbage, but you came here instead.”
“Fuck you.”
“I think Clay is right,” Brawley says, taking a step closer to me. “You can curse at us all you like, and you’re right, my loyalty is with them. But what I won’t stand for is this bullshit.”
I jump down from the truck and come face-to-face with him. Well, I have to look up at his face but it still counts.
“Bullshit?Are you fucking kidding me?!”
Brawley reaches down and grabs my chin. “You told us to get the fuck out of your life yet here you are back in ours. So what will it be? Are you going to fuck right back off to where you came from, Double P, or are you going to run?”
I shake my head, knocking his hand away. “Fuck you, I am here returning what I don’t want.”
“Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better,” Clay says, and I flip him off.
“Tut-tut, you know he likes you feisty,” Brawley says, stepping back. “Now you have a choice to make.”
I look between them; they are absolutely out of their minds.
“I think you better run now,” Ares adds.
Clay takes a few steps toward me, and I turn and run, but there is no way this is ending the way they think.
The alley is loud and full of people as I race through it, but no one looks my way. Apparently, a woman running at full speed is nothing they haven’t seen before.
I pass the gift shop and a man in a doctor’s mask turns to watch me. I don’t slow down, ducking beneath a stringof lights hanging between two posts, and coming out the other side.
The circus tent is lit up, and I dash toward it, pushing through the entrance flap. The music in here is deafening, and there is a man in the center of the ring wearing a devil mask. He tips his head back and breathes out fire. I wish I could stop and watch, but I keep moving, running past Karo on his platform, where a woman is strapped to his spinning board. She is laughing, and Karo has blades in his hands. He releases one, and it lands beside her head.
I find the rear entrance and race back outside.