“So you could connect to the internet?”
“Well, yeah, it wasn’t like we were buried under a million feet of snow. It was summer, so it was pretty rainy. I would have totally messaged you if there was some kind of emergency. It’s just the signal is terrible up there, which is why I didn’t call.”
I focused on taking slow breaths instead of letting myself explode like I wanted to. I remembered shouting at mum for actively choosing to embezzle from The Foundation, and Molly was also making a choice I couldn’t understand. Not even one message to ask how I was during her whole stay. Had I been asking for too much?
“Anyway, you never tried to get in touch with me, so it’s just pot calling kettle black,” she said, folding her arms as if she had won an argument we hadn’t even started.
But my heart stung as I thought of the way I’d betrayed her so much more severely than she had me. My feelings for Dom still beat strongly within me. I had to remind myself that I wasn’t breaking up with herforDom. My relationship with Dom sat outside of what I had with Molly, but I needed to cut ties with her before I could really consider where I wanted things to go with him.
“Did you ever think about how it would feel for me to be put in that situation? From what I can see, you didn't even care what it meant to have to deal with that on top of the vote after you left.”
“Well, you could have come with me. And you're really strong and you can endure anything, so I knew you would be okay. It just proves how much you love me that you waited for me to get back like that, and it makes me want to marry you even more.”
I sighed again as I watched her.
Dom had been gone for weeks, and he texted me every day, called me at night, and tried to reach me as much as he could. I knew I was an asshole for not responding to him, but he would be there if I called him at any time. Though I felt like as soon as I returned his call, it would open the floodgates, and I wasn’t ready to deal with my feelings for him.
And his response would be entirely different to Molly’s if I called him out of the blue.
Cat had said that Dom had been worried about me since I first told him I was engaged, and that marriage was a huge thing for him. She used the word ‘fret’, but I couldn’t imagine Dom ever fretting over someone, even though his attentiveness to myself, Cat and Grace, and his sisters was definitely something to be grateful for.
No matter what arguments Dom and I had, we always returned to each other, we spoke about both sides of our story, and then resolved things, even if it took time. I didn’t know if we could ever get over what he’d done, but I was certain he would be open to talking about it if I asked.
Whereas Molly seemed to believe I would endure anything she gave me because I loved her.
I was looking for security and comfort in my life, and knowing that Molly may suddenly break up with me at any time and leave for however long she wanted had ripped that away from me. Not that Dom was any better, but at least I knew where he was, and he updated me on what was happening with his family.
I didn’t realise that Molly had been talking the entire time because I was too busy thinking about Dom. As I zoned back in, I realised she had moved back onto wedding plans, and what colour scheme she wanted, along with booking a dress fitting with Mum.
It was like her eyes had glazed over as she looked around the room, smiling as she talked about how glad she was to be home, how we should get Mr Snuggles a suit, how she wanted to go back to work to tell her friends more details about the wedding.
Did she even see me as a person? I knew her sister had always been tickled by the wealth of my family, so maybe she pushed Molly back in that direction. Before Molly left, her main concern was the hospital, so where had her newfound need to become involved in my family’s life come from?
I was worried that by breaking up with Molly, I would lose my connection to my friends at the hospital, but if they were really my friends, they wouldn’t stop talking to me just because of that. I’d been close to most of them longer than I’d known Molly, and if I was important to them, they would stay in contact, just like Dom had.
Molly kept talking, and the longer her words ran over me, the more alienated I felt. It was as if I wasn’t even sitting here, and she was just talking into empty space. I wondered how long that had been going on; I had just been too tired to pay attention to it.
“I want to break up,” I said, cutting through her stream of chatter.
There was a pause, but I could tell it hadn’t sunk in for her before she even started talking again.
“Sure, we can take another break if that’s what you need. I have to get stuck back into work so I’m sure we’ll find time in a few weeks to talk about it.”
“No, not that nonsense.” My hands shook as I continued. “I’m done with us. That was all too much for me. I don’t have anything left in myself to give to you anymore.” It was blunt, but I needed to be firm when she seemed determined to talk about the wedding that was never going to happen.
Her teeth gritted and her gaze flashed as she quickly changed.
“What the hell are you talking about? What do you mean you want to break up?” she snapped.
My eyebrows rose, but I didn’t know why I was still surprised at her reactions. I took a page out of her book and kept speaking until I was done.
“You can have the house, I’ll stay at a flat my parents have in Central London until I find somewhere closer to The Foundation building, though there are a number of things I want to take with me, which we can discuss later. I believe MrSnuggles will be happier if he stays here. I’d prefer it if you informed our friends that the engagement is dissolved, since you were so eager to spread the news about the wedding, and I’ll inform my family of the change.”
She slammed her cup onto the coffee table as her scowl deepened. “You’re breaking up with me? Just like that? How long have you been planning this?”
I was pretty sure I asked her the same question when the tables were turned.
“Well, I don’t have a reason to stay here anymore. And you had no issue breaking up with me five minutes before you disappeared to your parents’, so I don’t see why I should pay you any liberties.”