“I’m right here, handsome. Tell me what you need.”
I nearly buckled as I caught the slightest moan. It was so small I almost missed it, but it was there. I knew that sound; I’d tasted that sound two weeks ago.
I chuckled, and like an absolute moron, I gave into my desire. Voice low, I showed him every ounce of lust beating through me. “At least this time I can tell you properly how sexy you are when you moan for me.”
There was another stuttered breath, the cord of tension between us reaching its limit as the phone went dead with a beep.
I stood there, numb; the phone pressed to my ear.
“Fuck,” I hissed. Disappointment and regret instantly flooded me, and I thought I was going to puke.
I was such a fucking idiot.
Was it really worth it? Out of all the things I could have said, that was really the best I could do?
I could have said literally anything else under the sun, and that was what I went with? Like I was just fucking around with him instead of trying to make up for the worst mistake of my life?
How was he ever going to trust me if I couldn't be real with him when it mattered the most?
It was another sign I needed to remember who the fuck I was, because I couldn't be good enough for Harry Fischer.
“Dom, hurry up!” Tammy shouted, snapping me out of it.
I shook my head, unable to rescue my plunging heart. At least I could suffocate my regret with their bright smiles, though it would come back with a vengeance.
I thought I hated myself before, but it was nothing compared to how easily I stepped back into the role of their big brother, as if everything with Harry didn't matter.
Tammy and Janie had picked their sunglasses. All they needed now was my magic bank card, and the evening would be set.
I could text him, apologise, tell him I really wanted to talk. But his opinion of me was already so low, and I’d said everything I’d wanted to say.
Even though I kept telling myself I wasn't worthy, I couldn't convince myself to stop. Maybe begging him to forgive me one more time could help.
Instead, I shot off a quick text before switching it to silent and followed my sisters into chick-flick hell.
Harry
Iheld the phone, panting, glaring at the door of the bathroom stall like it was my worst enemy.
What had I expected? Really? It was stupid to think that Dom had miraculously changed. That the Dom who had confessed his love was somehow the real man that I’d been searching for amongst his flirting and lies.
I bit my lip, failing to swallow my rage.
Because that was it. That was the last straw.
I considered myself a patient person. I had the strength to sit in front of a board of donors who were rejecting a project to supply trees to the Middle East to combat desertification simply because it wasn’t worth their time. I could calm Mum when she was on one of her campaigns to make her children miserable. I had dealt with media scandals, deaths of friends and family, even a hostage situation when Foundation employees were kidnapped on a project in East Asia—but I couldn’t put up with that.
It was driving me insane, all of it. I hadn’t come this far, given up so much of myself and what I loved, just to be pulled around like this.
I had to fix it. Not for anyone else, but for myself.
I thought it was awful of me to break up with Molly on the day of our engagement party. So, fine. I’d be the worst person in the entire world if it meant I could finally get some solace from this madness.
My phone pinged, and my anger spiked. I almost didn’t check the message.Almost. But I’d learnt recently that I was an emotional masochist as well as a horny slut.
Dom: Hey, I’m sorry. I was just surprised you rang. I didn’t mean to make it awkward. I’ll be here when you need me.
Assuming I needed him. Assuming that he made it awkward, and not that his simple words sent so much heat running through my body that I was hard, and contemplating stroking myself in a dingy bathroom at my own engagement party while thinking of him just to relieve myself.