I leaned back in my chair, stretching my legs out under my desk, trying to process yet another problem that had been piled onto it. I might have sent Hastings away, but I still had to do damage control, whatever form that came in.
Just when I thought I had a moment’s peace, my phone rang.
Lifting myself up, I locked onto it, praying that it was any other name but Dom’s.
I stared at it, knowing I had ten rings before it went to voicemail.
I had to be understanding. His sisters were in trouble. He had to go to them. If I was a good friend, I would have answered.
By that logic, he wouldn’t have used me like that.
But I couldn’t talk to him. Dom didn’t get to call me with some goodbye message like we’d just broken up. Even though we were never together in the first place. He hadn’t given us a chance.
With everything I knew about him, part of me suspected that he would have never tried, either because of how his previous relationships had gone, or because of his background. And it was stupid of me to be touched that he didn’t want to hurt me,or empathise with him because he always believed he wasn’t good enough no matter how far he went in life after he had gone to such an extreme.
Even though it was the perfect time for him to call, when I actually needed support and someone to talk to, it didn’t mean I would answer.
I wouldn’t give in to that piece of me that wanted so badly to hear from him again just to remind myself that I hated him, so I wasn’t stuck with those images of his face as he left my office.
With each ring I drew in a breath. With each break, in the silence, I blew it out, a casual rhythm that eased me through it. By the time I was close to giving in and answering the call, it was on its last ring, and the heat of longing chewed away at me.
The phone stopped, the screen went black, and I sighed in relief.
Until it pinged again a minute later, showing the voicemail symbol, and I squeezed my eyes, just wishing I could rest.
I needed to focus on work, and not on that growing pit in my stomach that showed how much I dreaded the thought that I’d lost the one person who mattered more than anyone else in the world.
Dom
Shooting a text off to Harry, I slipped my phone into my pocket as Sally set plates on the table. Eggs, beans and chips. I wasn’t expecting gold leaf caviar, but she could have at least acted like she had some of the 10K I sent her left.
I knew exactly what she was doing, and I wasn’t falling for it again.
I used to feel so fucking awkward sitting there in my Armani suits while they were stuck eating such cheap meals. The first night I came back I transferred five thousand to Sally’s account to give them a boost for the next two months. As soon as my wages increased, I gave them everything I could to provide for them. I bought them a car, I paid all their bills, I made sure my sisters had whatever they needed for school. Yet, when I came home, it was always the same.
My sisters were on my left, chattering away as Mum sat at the top of the table, watching us with a tense glare. I couldn’t quite tell who she was more annoyed at: me, for turning up unexpectedly, or Terry, for triggering me.
I used to take the girls clothes shopping until I discovered Mum and Terry were selling off everything I bought them.I used to buy them bikes and phones and laptops and it all vanished after it got into my parents’ hands.
Looking at both of them now had me shifting in my seat. Terry dressed in a ragged shirt and worn-out jeans while Sally put herself in a frayed blouse and a faded skirt. My hand clenched harder around my glass of water as my foot tapped under the table on the cheap black and white linoleum, and I used the movement to keep myself grounded
Because it wasn’t discomfort that was setting my teeth on edge, oh no. It was pure rage tearing me from the inside.
I really couldn’t believe the sheer fucking audacity of the two of them. Even though I’d dealt with it all my life. Sally would sell off a £10 tin of biscuits just to make a profit, and they still had the nerve to sit there looking at me like I’d betrayed them. Harry was the only one who got to look at me like that.
If I wasn’t so fucking mad, I would’ve been proud of myself. I slept for all of five hours before the girls got up and I drove them to school. And then it was seven hours of doing everything I could to subtly piss Terry off.
Which mainly involved working in the living room and looking up to smile at him every now and again. But it was worth it to see pink anger etched into his skin. And it didn’t matter how furious he got, he wouldn’t dare start shit when I was there.
At least when he didn’t have any drinks in him.
Terry was clearly overjoyed by the fact I had placed myself directly to his left, given the way he drained his beer and slammed the bottle on the tabletop hard enough to rattle it.
“Would you like another? You finished that pretty fast. You want to keep up your streak, don’t you? That’s only five and it’s just 6PM. Still got a long way to go.”
“Dom!” Sally hissed, and I flicked her a glance.
My commitment to peace was almost non-existent.