“I thought we were being honest, not blunt,” I replied coldly. “I was referring more to the conversation before that event. But yes,” I said, adjusting in my seat like I could ease my discomfort. “If we’re being candid, you could say it was abundantly clear.”
Dom’s tongue darted out to stroke his bottom lip. “I know you liked it,” he teased, igniting a new wave of frustration. Why wouldn’t he take it seriously?
I’d seen him brush off so many people in the past, never interested in conversations that might ask him to reveal something real about himself. And I hated how he was doing it to me.
“Even if I did, it doesn’t take away from the fact that you spent a month pretending to be my fiancée to play some kind of sick game with me.” I was proud of myself for not shouting at him. Yet. Though my voice was strained, failing to hold back the hurt, the fury, and every other emotion that swam within me.
“Do you see how ridiculous this is?” I removed my hands, hiding them under my desk, though he didn’t need to see them to know what I was doing.
“Dom, do you actually understand how fucked up it is? Not a single person in their right mind would ever even consider doing something like this. How can you think this is somehow okay? That I could ever trust you again? Ever be comfortable around you again?”
As I fired out the questions, his demeanour shifted.
“I don’t,” he said, his tone laced with agony. “I don’t for a second think that what I did to you was acceptable in any way. But it was a drunken mistake, and I couldn’t stop, Harry.” His sigh shuddered through me, hitting me where it hurt the most. “When I knew what you would do for me, when I knew you wanted it too... it was like the sane part of my mind just switched off, and all I could think about was how fucking sexy it would be to hold you as you stroked yourself.”
I bit my tongue, stopping myself from responding instantly.
I wished it hadn’t taken so much for me to realise I loved him.
“You didn’t stop, Harry,” Dom said quietly, looking at me through hooded eyes. “Even when I sent you the vibrator, you kept going.” He let out a long breath. “You told me how excited you were. How you had been thinking about it all the time.”
My eyes fluttered closed, and we sat there in silence as I gathered myself. “But it wasn’t you I was talking to,” I said with a push. “Don’t make this my fault.”
He wrapped his fingers around the arms of the chair. “But it was me you were thinking of, wasn’t it?”
More anger flared through me as my jaw clenched in frustration. “That is low,” I said. But considering what he had done so far, I shouldn’t be surprised that he would go there.
“It’s the truth, though.” He stared at me, watching for a reaction. “Would you have ever done something like this yourself if I hadn’t been there for you?”
He knew the answer as soon as he asked the question. But Dom didn’t know how I heard his voice every time I stroked myself, that it was so clear in my ears that I couldn’t even think about my cock without picturing his smile.
And he didn’t know that feelings I’d had buried for more than a decade had ripped me open and left me breathless. And he seemed to walk around without a single care in the world.
“It wasn’t you I wanted. I’ve been with Molly for three years. Why would youthink—”
“And I’ve been with you for twelve!” he snapped, leaning forwards in his chair. “We’ve been together longer than anyone else you’ve dated.”
I stayed as still as I could. I couldn’t let myself falter.
I hadn’t thought of Dom that way. Out of all my friends, I believed we would be in each other’s lives, be it another ten, twenty, or thirty years.
“You really think you know so much about me, don’t you?” My spite was clear, but it was well deserved. “And I thought I knew you. I thought you respected me enough to treat me as an equal. Really, Dom, I…” I bit back my emotions, even though I still glared at him. “What the actual fuck were you thinking?”
Silence ballooned between us as he stared at me, but I wouldn’t crack first. I wasn’t the one on trial here.
“There was never any respect in this.” He slumped back in the chair as his lips twisted. “I can’t even say there were any good intentions. All of it was wrong.”
There was another pause. The pain leaked out of both of us, and I was scared I was going to say something that revealed too much. Or maybe it was already too late.
“I asked you here to tell you that I want you to stay away from me,” I said, digging my fingers into my thighs. “I don’t want you anywhere near me, my family, or any of my friends. I want you out of my life.”
“Harry…”
“No. This can’t be a surprise. There’s nothing you can do to fix this. Every party, dinner, social event, whatever involves myfamily, you’re out. You are not to tell anyone what you’ve done. Nothing that could risk my image in any way. Is that clear?”
A rush of anger crossed his face, and he suddenly stood. A beat of shock whipped through me, and I reacted on instinct.
I kept telling myself to hold my ground, but the second he rounded my desk, I shot backwards, jolting out of my chair.