Sol moves so slow I nearly combust for real. He shifts and his thigh nudges mine, his breath warm on my cheek as he brushes his lips over my skin in a whisper too featherlight to call a kiss. “I’ve got you. Tap out at any time, okay? But Jack?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t fight it. Don’t hold back. This only works if you let yourself feel.”
I am feeling. So fucking much. But I absorb the direction with a shaky nod and bite my lip as Sol slides a hand between us and curls his hot fingers around my wrist.
Guiding me.
Steering my hand to my dick.
Easing my clothes off and nudging me to wrap my fingers around myself. Soothing me as heat detonates in every nerve, a familiar coil of pleasure, and yet…it doesn’t feel like mine. Not until Sol tugs my wrist, encouraging me to move and set a rhythm that has my breath running away from me in two seconds flat.
Christ, I can’t do this.
And yet…I am, and a throttled moan gravels from deep in my throat. Deep in my fucking soul?—
But not deep enough.
The warning is distant, drowned out by the unbearable rise in my spine. Pressure, pleasure, it’s all so messy. Sensations spike too fast to discern and I lose the connection with my hand. I mean, I don’t. Nothing happens. But I lose track of it and I just…I fuckingcan’t.
“Fuck.” I sink into Sol’s shoulder, breathing too short and too hard, and even with him holding my wrist, my grip slips away. Fingers limp and useless, a spasm shooting through my arm and into my neck, my thready composure snapping like frayed rope. “I can’t do it.”
Sol brings his free hand to grasp the base of my skull. He doesn’t say anything. Just breathes, in and out, a steady cadence that feels like home, until he finds his voice in the dark. “I’m here.”
He sounds winded.
Pained.
I raise my head, but his gaze is clear by the time I find it, and he brushes that soft nearly-kiss to my cheek again.
“Tell me what you need.”
I needhim.But my brain glitches and the words falling from my lips are a torn plea. “Help me.”
A thudding heartbeat passes, the air between us heavier than it’s ever been.
Sol searches my face. “Are you sure? You want me to touch you?”
It’s more than want. It’s a life force I can’t describe.“I want it, Sol. Please?”
I’ve never begged for anything in my life. Even when I wanted the doctors to put me out of my misery. When I asked Sol to do it over and over, until he cried and I hated myself. But I feel like I could beg now.
Maybe I already am.
Regardless, Sol hears me anyway. Hebelievesme, and with a low groan of his own, he releases my wrist and fists his calloused palm around my cock.
FuckingChrist.I’m a different person the second he makes contact. The second his rough skin scrapes my dick and a new heat incinerates my spine. A shaking fervour that has nothing to do with my damaged body and everything to do with the wicked touch of my forever best friend.
“Fuck.” I curse for the thousandth time tonight, but it’s a weaker beast now, shocked and pliant as my body falls into Sol’s rhythm before I know it’s happening.
Slow with a twist.
Harder, and yet so fucking tender my eyes roll as it all blends together in a heady ride of perfection.
Minutes pass.
Hours.