“For his gambling addiction, sweetheart. Because the alternative reality is he’s been bleeding you dry all these years on purpose.”
“Where’s the?—”
“No.” Orla cuts me off. Literally. Metaphorically. I’m not sure. “That’s not how this works. He’s gone, Sol. And he’s going to stay gone until he’s well enough to stop sending loan sharks to your boat deck. I know it’s fucking hard, but that’s all I cantell you for now, and it’s for the best. Put him out of your mind. Rebuild your boat—rebuild yourlife, and then it’s up to you if you let him back in.”
She hangs up, leaving sage advice I didn’t ask for ringing in my head, and a hollow space where my dad’s bullshit has been all these years.
I don’t know who I am without it. But that’s not what has me chucking my phone in the sand, blanking my brother, and rounding on Jack for answers. “Was this you? Did you tell the Kings about the loan shark and that damn concertina?”
Jack doesn’t blink. “What? No.”
“Then how the hell did they know?” I’m shouting. Under the grey sky of what should’ve been the most precious Christmas morning any of us have had in years, I’m shouting at my best friend in the rain. “I only told you.”
Jack frowns, hurt clouding his gaze. Then empathy which makes me sick to my stomach, and gods, no. I don’t deserve that. I don’t deservehim. How can he look at me like that after everything I’ve told him this morning?
I back up, reaching for the easiest and stupidest explanation for the riddle I can’t unpick.
He told someone. He tried to fix it.
And I know it’s wrong, even as it forms. Even as the knowledge I’ve carried of the Rebel Kings since I was a dumb teenager reminds me they don’t need Jack or anyone else to tell them anything about anything ever.
But I’m so tired. My veins buzz with irrational energy and I need off dry land before I lose the will to breathe.
The air from the sea is sharp and wet.
I force it into my tight throat and spin away from Sev as he reaches for me. From Jack as he strides down the steps. The dock blurs, like I need to see the world softer than it is, theSironais right there, and I board her on autopilot.
Untie her.
Cast off.
The rope burns my palms as it skids through them and it’s a pain I welcome. A pain I need, and I feel like I understand Skylar better with every day I spend on this earth.
I step into the wheelhouse and turn the engine over, distantly bracing for the clattering roar that’s followed me around the past few days. But either my girl’s mechanics have healed overnight, or I’m too strung out to hear it.
Either way, it doesn’t hit, and I shove the throttle, motoring out of the cove, leaving my heart behind. Out past the harbour wall and the moored vessels rocking on the waves. Out into air that tastes like iron as the horizon turns the colour of a necrotic wound.
I hit open water, Porth Luck so small behind me the Joker would be nothing but a smudge if I turned to look. But that would mean admitting I’ve chosen the sea over the people who love me and I’m not brave enough for that.
So I press on until I can drag a breath into my lungs, theSironapurring steadily under my feet. Until my vision clears, the salt dries on my cheeks, and I realise I’m not alone.
The quiet shift comes from the cabin. The slide of a boot on damp wood. A sigh that isn’t mine.
I turn slowly.
Oscar sits on the bench, hood up on his favourite red jacket, hands tucked into his pockets, eyes the colour of cinnamon hooked on me with unnerving focus. “We are past every crab site I know, my friend.”
“I didn’t know you were there.”
“You should have. I could have been anyone, and I am not small.”
He isn’t. But I feel it as he waits me out and that riddle…it finally unspools. “It was you, wasn’t it? You told the Kings about the loan shark on the docks.”
Oscar rubs his lips together. Then he stands, ducking to exit the cabin without bashing his head. He steps into the rain and tips his hood back, absorbing the elements before facing me again. “I did tell them. And I would do it again.”
“Why?”
“Because I am tired of watching you bleed and call it love. But we will talk about that later. For now, go and fit this battery I found at home while I take us back to where we need to be.”