I crossed the rock and sat beside him, close enough that our shoulders almost touched. The valley spread out below us, peaceful and still, completely unaware of the storm about to break on this ledge.
"I've spent eight years not knowing," I said. "I'm ready to know the truth."
Knox was quiet for a long moment. When he spoke, his voice sounded tired. Resigned that this was it.
"The night before you left. The night I was supposed to meet you here." He paused, and I watched him gather himself. "Cal came to see me that afternoon."
My heart stopped. "Cal?"
"He knew about us. Someone had seen us at the lake, and word got back to him." Knox's hands clenched on his knees. "He showed up at my place with an offer. To stay away from you and disappear from your life completely, or he'd make sure I went to prison."
I jolted slightly. This was not what I expected. "What?"
"There was a fight, the year before. Guy pressed charges, then dropped them. Cal said he could bring them back. Add things. Make it so I'd never get out from under it." Knox's voice was flat, reciting facts. "But that's not why I walked away."
"Then why?"
He turned to look at me. In the starlight, his eyes were dark and full of old pain.
"Because he was right." The words came out broken. "About me. I didn’t care if I went to prison Daisy. He could see that wasn’t going to work on me. He then said something that did make me realize I wasn’t good for you. About what I'd cost you. What staying with me could cost you. You had a future, Daisy. College, career, a life that didn't involve this town or the guy everyone expected to end up in prison. And he knew,he knew, that if I asked you to stay, you would. You'd throw it all away for me."
Tears burned my eyes. I couldn't speak.
"So I let you go." His voice cracked. "I watched you wait for me, right here, on this rock. I was parked down the road, close enough to see your car, and I watched you wait. And I didn't come. Because I loved you too much to ruin your life."
The tears spilled over. I pressed my hand to my mouth, trying to hold back the sob building in my chest.
"You should have told me." The words came out ragged. "You should have let me choose."
"I know." He reached for me, then stopped, hand hovering in the air between us. "I know that now. I've known it for eight years. But back then, I was twenty-one and stupid and so goddamn sure that I was saving you from the biggest mistake of your life. Me."
"The biggest mistake of my life was believing you didn't want me." I grabbed his hand, held it tight. "I spent eight years thinking I'd imagined everything between us. It screwed me up Knox. Totally. That’s why I settled for a man who made me feel small because at least he showed up. At least he wanted me, even if he made me hate myself for it, and look where that got me. Back here and still broken."
Knox's expression shattered. "Daisy."
"No." I pulled my hand free and stood up. I needed distance to process, to think, to breathe. "Cal did this. He manipulated both of us. He decided what was best for me without asking, and you let him."
"I was trying to protect you."
"I didn't need protection!" The words exploded out of me, echoing off the rocks. "I needed you. I needed the truth. I needed a chance to make my own choice instead of having two men decide my future for me."
Knox stood too and faced me across the narrow space.
"You're right," he said quietly. "You're right about all of it. I made the wrong choice. I've spent every day since then trying to become someone who deserves a second chance, even though I knew I'd probably never get one."
"Why?" I demanded. "Why bother, if you thought we were over?"
"Because even if you never came back, even if you married someone else and had a life that had nothing to do with me, I wanted to be worthy of what we had." He stepped closer, and I could see his hands shaking. "I wanted to be the man you believed I could be, even if you never knew."
God. This man. This impossible, infuriating, heartbreaking man.
"I'm furious at you," I said.
"I know."
"I'm furious at Cal."
"You have every right to be."