I'd have to see him in the mornings, before I left for work. See him in the evenings, when I came home. Watch him build something with his hands while I pretended not to notice the way his shoulders moved, the way his forearms flexed, the way he still made my stomach flip even after everything.
This was a terrible idea.
But Cal had asked. And I couldn't say no to Cal.
I sank deeper into the water, letting it cover my shoulders, my chin. Wishing I could drown the part of me that still cared what Knox Parker thought of me.
Eight years. I should be over him. I should feel nothing but cold indifference.
Instead, I felt everything. Anger and hurt and something deeper, something I refused to name. Something that had lived in my chest since that night at the overlook, curled up tight, waiting.
I thought about what June had said.The story you're telling yourself. I don't think it's the whole truth.
What did that mean? What truth was I missing?
Knox hadn't shown up. He hadn't called or explained. Those were facts. Those were the things that had happened, the things I'd lived with for eight years.
But facts could be true and still not tell the whole story.
I thought about the Knox I'd seen in town. That was someone who'd changed. Grown. Become something more than the reckless kid I remembered.
Why?
What had happened in the years I was gone?
I stayed in the pool until my fingers pruned and my head felt clearer. Then I got out, dried off, and drove back to Cal's cabin with a new resolution forming in my chest.
I wasn't going to ask Knox for answers. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing I still cared enough to wonder.
But I was going to watch, listen and pay attention.
Because June was right about one thing. The story I'd been telling myself for eight years was the only story I had. And maybe it was time to find out if there was another one.
***
Sunday passed in a blur of laundry and meal prep and trying not to think about Monday.
I failed.
That night, I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, listening to the wind push through the trees outside my window. My body was tired but my brain wouldn't stop spinning, running through scenarios, imagining conversations, preparing for a battle I wasn't sure I wanted to fight.
Knox would be here in the morning.
This was going to be a disaster.
I rolled over, punched my pillow, and forced my eyes closed.
Sleep came eventually, but it wasn't restful. I dreamed of the overlook. Of waiting in the dark. Of headlights that never came.
When I woke, the sun was just coming up, and Knox Parker's truck was already in the driveway.
Chapter 5: Knox
Igot to Cal's before dawn.
Partly because I wanted to get a head start on the framing. Partly because I was hoping to be deep in work before Daisy woke up, too focused on measuring and cutting to notice her moving through the cabin.
That was the plan, anyway.