And it’d been a while since I’d heard him laugh.
He’d been slipping faster lately, a little more distant every day, and the knowledge that any lost ground would never be recovered was soul-crushing.
“We should probably get going now, Grandpa,” I said, standing. “But we’ll leave Duffy’s chocolate chip cookies for you.”
“Oh,” he said, glancing at Duffy. “Okay.”
We exchanged hugs and took off, and I succeeded at keeping it together. Every time I left him it killed me, though, the knowledge that next time we were together—in person—there would be less of him.
It was a game of loss, a little at a time, and I hated knowing that today was the best it was ever going to be again.
But I kept up trivial-yet-pleasant conversation like I was fine as we rode back to my hotel so I could check out and we could fly back together. I was absolutely pulling off a calm-and-collected facade.
So it shook me to the core when she did it.
The second the elevator doors closed, Duffy engulfed me in a huge hug. She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me closer into her as she stood on tiptoe, and her voice was soft in my ear when she said, “I’m so sorry, Connor. I’m so, so sorry.”
And that was it. That was enough. I knew that she knew exactly how terrible it was, the full blow of his rapid descent, and something about her words destroyed me. I closed my eyes and swallowed hard, trying to figuratively hold it together while sheliterallyheld me.
But when I opened my eyes, all I could see was Duffy.
And something about the way she was watching me flipped a switch on my emotions. Suddenly all I could see was the woman I was obsessed with, the girl I wanted so much it made me fucking dizzy.
I lowered my head and took her mouth, ecstatic when she made a noise in the back of her throat and dug her fingertips into my shoulders, showing me she felt the exact same way. I leaned into her, not even realizing I’d moved forward as I devoured her mouth until I felt the elevator wall at her back, her body flush with mine.
“Duff,” I said, lowering my head to taste the skin just below her ear, “what do you want here?”
“Here?” she whispered, sounding confused as I felt the press of her nails through my shirt.
“Here, now, today,” I said against her throat, nearly panting from the ferocity of this sudden need. I was overcome withwant. She took me from zero to one hundred in five seconds. “I need to know we’re on the same page.”
“Ah,” she breathed, leaning her head back against the wall and giving me better access, praiseGod. “Tell me your page and I’ll tell you mine.”
“I want you so fucking badly I’m about to pass out, that’s where I’m at,” I admitted, my knees weak from the feel of her body pressed against me. “I don’t give a shit about dates or official statuses or anything other than you and me, alone together in a room, with hours to burn.”
“Yes, so, definitely same page,” she said, and that was it.
The elevator doors opened as if I’d scheduled the time, and my head dipped back down to meet her lips again. I kissed her with a renewed intensity, and she responded with equal if not greater enthusiasm, clearer than ever that she fucking wanted it, too,hallelujah. I held her against my body as I stumbled down the hallway in the direction of my room.
Thank God no one else was in the hall because neither of us wanted to pull away and lose the heat of each other.
I managed to get us to my door, and she snatched the key card from my hand and popped it open while I explored the soft skin just behind her ear.
“Oh my God, look at this room,” she said breathlessly as I maneuvered her inside. “It’s gorgeous.”
“Stop looking at the room, you’re making me jealous,” I managed, taking her mouth yet again. I couldn’t get enough of her kisses; she was too fucking good. It was like her mouth wasmade for my mouth, like she knew the secret recipe for making a kiss feel like more than a kiss; every single nerve reacted like lightning to her touch, her taste, I swear to God.
I was addicted and needed another hit.
“I should only see you?” she asked against my lips, licking into the corner of my mouth and driving me wild.
“Seems fair when you are all I can fucking see, all the time, even when I’m alone,” I admitted, feeling like the air was being sucked from my lungs as her fingertips flexed against my stomach. “You haunt me, Distefano.”
“You kill me when you say things like that,” she said quietly, almost like she was worried. “How am I supposed to keep my wits about me when you use those words?”
“Don’t,” I said, pulling back so I could look into those gorgeous brown eyes and convince her to let go, to meet me where I was. “Lose them. I want you witless and just as crazed as I feel every time I look at you.”
“Consider me crazed, whether I want to be or not,” she sighed with a soft smile, and with that, there was no more convincing, no more worries. We were both fully in it.