Friend.
He’d just called me his friend.
It made sense in this context, since he was just making a joke about the cat’s ridiculous name, but my stomach sank anyway.
In an instant, I was no longer buzzing over his offer, because what did it mean? Were we landing in a friendly place where he was comfortable suggesting I crash at his place when he wasn’t even going to be there because he was no longer trying to move this thing between us forward?
Had we stalled?
A weight settled uncomfortably in my chest.
When we got to his apartment, I felt a little shy because I didn’t know what to do with all my questions and insecurities.
I needed to know where we stood, but the words didn’t come out.
Thankfully his cats chose that moment to come running at me, distracting me with their chaos the second we stepped out of the fancy elevator. Sammy—the fat orange one—jumped onto the couch and immediately coughed up a hair ball while one of the other ones rubbed against my leg like she’d been waiting for my arrival.
So Ihadto snatch her up.
While Connor cleaned up the hair ball situation he gave me shit about dripping water all over his fancy floors, so I was blessedly able to momentarily stop stressing about things I couldn’t figure out.
“Come on, I’ve got stuff for you,” he said, walking into the other room. I followed, my stomach doing a somersault as we crossed through what appeared to be his bedroom.That is a huge bed, I thought, trying not to look but failing miserably and gaping at that massive mattress that Connor Cunningham slept in every night.
Ahem.
Be cool, Duffy.
He didn’t stop until we were in the main bathroom, which did nothing to calm my jumpy pulse as he walked over and turned on the shower.
The water started running and I swallowed as he spoke calmly, like prepping the shower for me was normal behavior for him.
“The last time my sister was in town, I bought her a pair of sweats at the pro shop that she didn’t like, so they’ve literally never been worn but they will probably fit you if you don’t want to put your wet clothes back on,” he said.
“God bless you and your sweats-hating sister,” I said as he went to go fetch them.
When he returned with neatly folded sweats, he opened the cabinet and handed me two fluffy white towels. “You have to let the water run for a few minutes before it gets hot.”
“Okay,” I said with a nod, taking the towels from his hands, unable to look him in the eye while he talked about the shower.
“I’m going to let you shower while I pack. We should probably leave in about thirty minutes, if that works for you.”
“It does,” I said, even as my brain spun in cartwheels about us and big bedrooms and running showers. “Thank you. Um, for everything. For taking me to see my dad last night, for being cool about canceling the date, for helping out with football this morning; I kind of think you’re maybe sort of an okay dude.”
“Whoa, watch it—my head is going to get huge if you keep talking to me like that,” he said, his voice quiet as he smiled down at me.
Suddenly, I was hyperaware of how close he was standing.
Of the way he was towering over me.
Of the way his blue eyes were penetrating mine.
“It’s already huge, let’s be real,” I teased, my teeth chattering.
His eyes dipped down to my mouth andGod, I wanted him to kiss me so badly. My breath was trapped in my chest as we looked at each other and I was hit with a wave of total confusion because how was it possible we were just friends? Things with Connor felt so much more like a relationship than any of theactualrelationships I’d dipped in and out of in the past.
“The way I want to kiss you right now,” he said quietly, the heat of his gaze holding me in place. “I’m a dick, I know, because you’re soaked to the bone and shivering, yet I cannot stop myself from looking at your pretty mouth and remembering. Fucking wanting, so badly, to do it again.”
“So do it,” I said on a breath, my knees threatening to buckle as his words burned through me. It felt bold and a little too brazen to taunt him, but I said anyway, “Unless you’re chick—”