He stepped out, giving my shoulder a small, appreciative squeeze as he passed. "I’ll give y’all a moment," he whispered.
We walked in, and the sight of her almost made me turn around. Stella was sitting on the edge of the bed, her hair a wild mess of bedhead and her face raw, red, and swollen from crying. She looked pitiful.
Nel moved first, his natural instinct to protect kicking in. He sat on the edge of the bed beside her, his voice dropping into that sweet, babying tone he reserved for people he loved. "Are you okay, Ma?"
Stella didn’t answer right away. She just stared at him, her eyes filling up again, before she reached out and touched his face with a trembling hand. "I’m not," she whispered, her voice cracking. "I’m not okay, Nel. I’ve spent so many years running from that night that I forgot how much it hurts to just... stand still and look at it." She took a jagged breath, her eyes darting to me and then back to him. "But seeing you two standing here? That’s the only thing that feels right."
I stayed standing, crossing my arms over my chest. I wasn't about to coddle her but seeing her like this—stripped of the designer heels and the perfect ponytail—made my throat tight. "I get it," I said, my voice firm but not mean. "Life is fucked up. It’s messy and it’s cruel, but if it’s taught us anything, it’s that we have to keep going."
Stella looked up at me, her bottom lip trembling as she tried to pull herself together.
"I got shot," I reminded her. "That ruined my dreams of being an Olympian, but I’m still here. Your trauma ruined our relationship, but Nel and I didn't have a bad childhood. Grandma Anne was an angel before she even left this earth. And Uncle Tevin and Aunt Michelle treated us no different than London and Paris. We had a good childhood, Stella. We were loved."
Nel nodded, reaching out to take her hand. "Yeah, we did. And we can have a good adulthood too, if we try. Life is too short for all this. I want to get to know you, but not if it’s gonna cost you your mental health. I don't want to be seen as your trauma."
"You're not," Stella swore, the words coming out in a choked sob. "Not anymore. You haven't been for a long time. I just... I had spent so much time away. I thought once I was finally healed enough to come back around, you two would never forgive me."
"Well," Nel said, giving her hand a firm squeeze. "We forgive you now."
Stella’s eyes darted to me, searching for something. She knew I didn't hand out forgiveness like a party favor. I didn't say I forgave her, but I walked over and sat on the other side of her, letting my shoulder brush against hers. It was a bridge, even if it was a small one.
"You know it takes me a while to come around," I told her, my voice softening. "Just know I don't hate you. I don't have the energy for that anymore."
Stella let out a shaky breath, leaning her weight into me just a little. "That’s a start. That is more than enough of a start."
"I was thinking maybe we could do family counseling," I said. "Maybe find someone who can do it online when we get back home. I'm willing to try."
"I'd love that," Nel said immediately.
"Me too," Stella whispered, looking between the two of us. "I would do anything to fix this. Anything."
Nel shifted, leaning back a bit. "Are you ever going to tell Whitley and Deuce? Or even Uncle Tevin?"
Stella wiped her eyes, some of that maternal strength finally returning to her posture. "After the wedding, I will. I don't want to take anything away from London’s day. It’s her time."
We both nodded. It was the right call.
"I feel like we need a group hug," Nel announced, standing up and opening his arms wide.
I rolled my eyes, trying to move away. "Nel, don't start."
"Get over here, Nique," he laughed, grabbing my arm and pulling me into the center of the room. Stella stood up and joined in, and for the first time in my life, we were all linked. We laughed and giggled as Nel squeezed us entirely too hard, the sound feeling wildly out of place in a room that had been so full of grief ten minutes ago.
"I’m sorry for being a horrible mom," Stella said against my shoulder.
"It's cool," Nel joked, pulling back with a grin. "As long as you be a good grandma."
Stella’s head snapped toward me, her eyes wide. "Are you pregnant?"
I let out a harsh laugh. "I hope not. I popped a Plan B a couple of hours ago."
Stella looked shocked at my bluntness, her mouth slightly agape.
"Actually, it’s me," Nel spoke up, his chest puffing out a little with pride. "Harvey and I are going through the process of getting a surrogate."
I felt my stomach tighten. I hated Harvey. The fifty-year-old politician lived a lavender marriage with his wife, Kat, for the sake of his career, while my brother was his dirty little secret. I couldn't stand the way he kept Nel in the shadows.
"Who’s carrying the baby?" I asked, my voice flat. "Kat?"