I took a step back. He was faster.
He caught me by the waist and lifted me clean off the floor before I could protest, and my legs wrapped around him on pure instinct. I’m a solid two hundred plus, but he held me like I was light as a feather. My body responded before my brain could remind it that this wasn’t the plan.
“Okay, okay, she’s the bride,” I laughed, tapping his shoulder. “Put me down and go do your job.”
He set me down slow and deliberate, in no kind of hurry. I smoothed my dress down just to have something to do with my hands because my face was telling on me and I knew it. The last time a man handled me with that kind of effortless strength it was Dex, and I hated that my body still kept score.
“Bitch, he had you elevated!” Nicole hollered, nearly choking on her drink. “I thought he was about to rearrange your entire soul on this table.”
Amina fanned herself beside her, her eyes cool as they slid over to me. “The way he lifted you though, whew chile, I know that man’s back is probably screaming right now.”
The shade was thick enough to trip over.
She had been low-key beefing with me ever since Paris told her about what happened in Jamaica. Paris was trying to look out for her friend. Amina, like a lot of women who love the wrong man too hard, decided it was easier to hate me instead of Dex.
I met her gaze with a slow smile.
“My size has never been a problem for a man who actually knows what to do with it,” I said evenly. “Big players can’t do nothing with a skinny hoe anyway. They need something real they can hold onto.”
Silence dropped over the table.
Paris set her cocktail down and pressed her fingers to her temple like she felt a headache coming on. “Y’all please do not start this tonight. This is London’s party.”
Amina rolled her eyes and looked away. Her smirk disappeared, replaced by a tight ugly line of resentment she didn’t bother hiding.
My phone buzzing in my purse saved us all from whatever came next.
I saw Kel’s name on the screen and something in me immediately loosened. I stood up, smoothed my dress down, and headed for the exit.
“Hey beautiful,” I said, stepping out into the cool March air. The quiet wrapped around me all at once after all that noise and heat inside.
“You okay?” she asked, her eyes already searching my face through the screen the way they always did.
“Just a little overwhelmed. The dancers are a lot.”
She laughed softly. “I bet. What time are you coming home? I can’t sleep without you.”
“Soon. I was thinking about swinging by Waffle House first. You want anything?”
“Skip Waffle House and come straight home. I’ll make you breakfast myself.”
“That’s why I love you.”
“You know I love taking care of you,” she said, her voice dropping into that easy tone that always made me feel settled. “Text me when you’re leaving.”
We said our goodbyes and when the screen went dark I stood there a moment just breathing in the night air. I had a woman at home who catered to my every want and need. Kel never once made me feel like I was too much or not enough. Meanwhile, Amina was going home to an empty house while Dex had theirdaughter for the weekend. I had won. I told myself that every single day.
The wedding in Mexico was one week away though, and no amount of self-talk was going to change what that meant. I was going to be breathing the same tropical air as Dexter Nash. I was going to have to look at the man who broke something real inside me and smile like I was perfectly fine.
I hated him.
I hated myself more for the way every detail of him still lived in my body like muscle memory. The weight of his hands, the sound of his voice, the exact way he felt inside me that night in Jamaica when we both should have known better.
I tucked my phone into my purse and walked back inside to celebrate my cousin’s last days of freedom.
Some things you just have to survive twice.
Chapter two