“Mannn.”
“Breathe, Mr. Richards.”
He took a deep breath and let it out. He repeated the process several times before I finally saw his shoulders relax, and his face followed.
“Good?” I asked.
He nodded. “Yeah.”
“Okay. Now, have a seat and tell me what happened.”
He took a seat on the couch, and I sat across from him.
“I texted Trisha and told her I was going to come pick Hanna up around three today. I get there, and they ain’t even home. I called her ass to see where they were at, and she tells me they are in fucking Florida visiting her auntie and shit. So I cussed her ass out, and she hung up in my face without saying shit. This was my week to get my daughter, and that ho just gon’ run off with her! Everything in me is telling me to kill this bitch, but I don’t want to go to jail and never see my daughter again.”
I looked at him for a minute before I spoke. “That’s your motivation right there. Think about what hurting Hanna’s mother would do to her and you. She will lose both of her parents and possibly go into the system. Is that what you want?”
“You know that ain’t what I want, but I can’t control my thoughts and urges, Doc. I need something stronger, or I’m scared I’m gon’ follow through on those urges.”
“You’re on the highest mood stabilizer that we have, Mr. Richards. Have you taken your meds today?”
“I did!”
“Okay. It’s Lithium, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. If that’s not working, we can switch you to Lurasidone to see if that helps. Right now, I need you to just relax.Sometimes, to keep yourself in control, you must think good thoughts. Did she tell you that she was taking her out of town this week, and maybe you forgot?”
He looked away, seemingly thinking, before his eyes came back to me, and he shook his head.
“See, that’s why I said I need a higher dosage. I did forget that she told me last week they were going to visit her aunt.”
I cocked my head and smiled at him. “You don’t need a higher dosage, Mr. Richards. You need a calendar and to set a reminder on your phone.”
“How I’m gon’ remember to do that?”
“You remember to take your meds every day, don’t you?”
“That’s because that shit is imperative.”
“It’s also imperative that you stick around for Hanna, no?”
“Yeah . . . This shit is just too much sometimes. I always feel like motherfuckas is against me because of my moods. I be feeling like Trish ass be doing shit to me on purpose to get me riled up.”
“What did we discuss last time?”
“You told me to call when I feel that way, but shit, I be forgettin’.”
“I’m going to need you to start remembering these things, Mr. Richards. It’s for your stability. You don’t want Trisha to petition the court for full custody, only to never get to see Hanna. You said she’s the only person who keeps you sane, right? You don’t want to lose the only peace of sanity you have due to you not being able to remember important things.” I stood from my chair and walked over to him. “Hand me your phone.”
He slipped his hand in his pocket, unlocked it, then handed it to me. I tasked myself with setting an alarm every day for a reminder about his daughter, to take his meds, and to keep up with his therapy appointments. We talked for a little bit more, then I made him apologize to Janelle before he left.
“He may be the craziest patient you’ve had, aside from Justin,” Janelle said, shaking her head.
“Don’t call them crazy, Janelle. They’re just misunderstood.”
She side-eyed me as we laughed.