“Not happening, so I need you not to say that shit again. I’m not giving you up. I fucked up. I’m going to make mistakes because this is the first time I ever felt something real, and I don’t know how to process the shit I'm going through without crashing out. I never want to be around you when the light gets dark. If I hurt you, I’ll never forgive myself.”
I sighed. “I understand that. But you once told me that the sight of me made you calm,” I reminded him.
“I did. And it still does. But I won’t lie and say that, although I feel at peace when I’m with you, the shit still don’t scare me. I can’t control the shit sometimes, and I would never want you to see that side of me. That’s why I’m here. Been having ya moms pray over me and shit.”
“Wait, about that. You’ve been coming to see my mom? How do you even know where she lives, and how did you even get in contact with her?”
“In one of our many conversations, you told me where her church was, and I pulled up on her after I dropped you off Sunday morning. She invited me back here, fed a nigga, talked to me about you a little bit, then prayed over me. Been coming here all week. It’s why I’m here now.”
I frowned. “So you’ve met my daughter?”
He shook his head. “I usually come when she’s napping, or after you come get her. I wanted to give you the respect and honor of introducing me to her.”
I looked away, not knowing how to feel about him seeking out my mother for help and guidance. I mean, she did say she wanted to meet him, and I was going to make it happen this week, but it seemed he beat me to it. “I don’t know how I feel about this,” I admitted.
He stepped closer to me and gripped my hips. We stared into each other’s eyes, and he planted a soft kiss on my lips. “You don’t gotta feel no way, baby. I apologize for how I played this, but I needed somebody other than you to help me with this situation. Plus, I wanted to get to know your moms for myself. I didn’t mean to take that from you, but after hearing her pray for me when she didn’t even know me, something told me it was safe to trust her.”
I smiled a little, allowing the tension to ease from my body. “If you’re going to pursue me, I need you to let me in, Ghana. I trust that you will never hurt me, so I need you to trust me with your feelings. Whatever it is, even when you get angry, I need you to talk to me. If you want my mom to pray for you, let me know, and we can get her on the line. If you need space, I can give you that, but don’t shut me out.
“Sending flowers won’t work for me. You have to communicate with me, or it will only make me think you don’t want me, and I’ll step back. I’ll appoint you to Willow or someone not associated with our office.”
“Not happening, so you might as well quit talking that bullshit. But I hear you, baby, loud and clear, and I won’t shut you out.”
“Pinky swear,” I said, holding out my finger.
“Nah, I promise,” he said, kissing my finger just as the door opened, and my mom stood in the doorway.
She smiled at us, then looked at Ghana. “I heard your bike and was wondering why I didn’t hear the bell. Y’all come on here. Dinner is ready.”
I picked my keys up from the ground, then took Ghana’s hand, and we entered the house. The first thing I did was head straight to the playpen in the living room to my baby. She sat inside with her toys and favorite read-along book, trying to sound out the words. When she saw me, she stood, holding on to the edge of the playpen.
“Ma-Ma!”
“Hi, Mommy’s baby. I missed you.” I cooed and picked her up. I covered her in kisses as she smiled brightly. I turned and headed back over to Ghana, who stood in the entryway, looking nervous.
“I want you to meet Mommy’s new friend. Can you say hi to Ghana?” I asked.
She stared at him as if trying to figure out if he was real. “Say hi, baby. Don’t be shy,” I encouraged her. She lifted her little hand and did the open and close wave.
“Hi, Taylor. It’s nice to meet you.” Ghana smiled and held out his palm, and surprisingly, Taylor placed hers in his.
He smiled wider. “She’s beautiful. Just like her moms.”
“Thank you,” I replied.
“Come. Let’s get some food in us. Autumn, take Ghana to get cleaned up,” my mom said, taking Taylor from me. “We’ll be in the kitchen.”
I took Ghana’s hand and led him down the hall to the bathroom. I pulled him inside, closed the door, and then attacked his lips. His arms came around my waist, pulling me close as we engaged in a heated kiss. I pulled away and looked into his eyes.
“I missed you,” he said.
“You wouldn’t have to miss me if you didn’t ghost me.”
He smirked. “I see I have a lot of making up to do.”
“You damn sure do. A whole week’s worth because I need that.” I slipped my hand inside his jeans and pulled his face to mine to kiss him. I palmed his dick and closed my eyes. The thump that hit my clit had me wanting to bend over so he could ruin me, but he stopped me and smiled.
“Chill, mama. I’m not fuckin’ you in your mom’s crib.”