I didn’t have shit to say to her until after those results. I wouldn’t kill her like I said I would, but she was getting cut the fuck off. It pained me to think Nich would betray me like that. I truly loved her ass, and my love didn’t extend to many. Nichelle knew my struggles, my weaknesses, and how I was coming behind her, regardless of whether I was scared shitless to be a father.
Now, the thought of the baby not being mine hurt a nigga to his core because I’d been struggling with this shit since she first told me, feeling like I wasn’t good enough to be somebody’s daddy. If she didn’t belong to me, the mental battle I had been experiencing would’ve all been for nothing.
“Ghana!” I heard Kenzi call out. I sat out back on their patio, staring into the open space. My eyes slowly roved over to her. Kenzi hadn’t said much about the situation, but I could tell she was heartbroken too. She had been excited that we were finally adding to our family, so excited she came a month early just to spend time with Nichelle and me. She even gave me the two names she thought would keep our grandmother’s legacy alive and represent our motherland—Zuri Zendaya or Zendaya Zuri.
Just the thought of Nichelle playing in my fucking face had me rubbing my temples as I tried to get the shit out of my head.
Kenzi came and sat next to me, taking my hand in hers and looking at me with those sympathetic ass eyes. I hated that shit. I didn’t need her pity.
“She called. She’s in labor.”
“I don’t give a fuck.”
“You do, Ghana. I know you’re hurting, but if this turns out to be your baby, you’d regret not being there to experience her arrival.”
“Kenz, if I go to that hospital and discover she doesn’t belong to me, I’m going to do something bad to Nichelle. I’m going to seriously hurt her ass, so I think it’s best if I stay away.”
Kenz closed her eyes and let out a soft sigh in defeat. “I’m going to go. I’ll stand in on your behalf. I just hate that this is happening.”
“Stranger shit has happened, so I ain’t surprised.”
“She told me to tell you that she loves you and hopes you come.”
“You’ve been talking to her ass?”
“A little.”
“Why? I told you not to talk to that bitch.”
“Ghana—”
“No, Kenzi! You keep trying to fucking help people! Fuck her! She lied to me, fucking cheated on me, and broke my heart after all the shit I’d done for her, and you letting that bitch get in your head!”
“Calm do?—”
“Don’t fucking tell me to calm down! You’re my blood. If I don’t fuck with the opps, then you need to fall in line. What part ofshe broke my fucking heartaren’t you getting? Punda mjinga!” (Stupid ass!)
“Usinipigie kelele, Ghana!” (Don’t fucking yell at me, Ghana!)
“Then stop always giving fucking grace to motherfuckas who are undeserving!”
“Maybe you should learn how to do that. This could very well be my niece, and just because you’re upset with her doesn’t mean I’m going to miss her birth. You’re my brother, and I love you?—”
“You don’t love shit. You fucking pity me!” I sneered. Kenzi recoiled as if I had punched her in her chest. I knew I was reaching, but I was angry, and her going behind my back and talking to that bitch pissed me off. My sister was a lover. She saw the good in bad motherfuckas . . . motherfuckas meaning me. She was always there to comfort me when I thought my life was over, when I wanted to take myself off this earth, or when I was down and depressed. Her love always brought about comfort that I knew I couldn’t get anywhere else until Nichelle. I didn’t mean to blow up on her, but I needed her to, for once, be on my side when it came to this situation. I could see the tears welling in her eyes as she looked at me.
The door opened, and Ruger stepped out. “Everything good out here?” he asked, looking between us.
I scoffed, snatching the bottle of Don Julio that sat at my feet, and stood.
“You shouldn’t be drinking while you’re on meds,” Kenzi said, wiping the tears from her eyes.
“You shouldn’t be worried about what the fuck I shouldn’t be doing. Go watch that bitch have another nigga’s baby.”
“Don’t fucking talk to me like that, Ghana! I’ve always been on your side, through your rights and your wrongs! For you to say that I pity you is diabolical. But I guess I should expect that from a diabolical nigga.”
“Yo, fuck you, Kenzi.”
“Aye, go cool ya head, G,” Ruger voiced, walking over to me. “I understand your pain, but you talking real reckless right now.”