He looked off, then lowered his head. “You want sumn to drink? I think I got a beer in there for you.”
“I’m good. Answer my question. What happened?”
He looked at me and rubbed his arms as if something was crawling on him. Just seeing the act made me feel even more fucked up. My mans was jonesing bad.
“Shit got heavy when you went away, man. I feel like it’s my fault you had to do that time.”
“It wasn’t your fault, T?—”
“It was! Th-they cornered me, man. They put my back against the wall, and I felt disloyal as fuck for it. I’m sorry, Zi. I’m a fucking Judas,” he said, leaning against the wall, then sliding down to the floor. “I betrayed you.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, shaking my head in confusion. I wanted to believe he wasn’t saying what I thought he was saying. I didn't want this shit to be real right now.
“What are you saying, Trouble? Don’t talk in circles to me, bro.”
He looked up at me with tears in his eyes. “I told the cops it was your gun. The night they took you, they cornered me and told me if I didn’t tell them the truth, they would take me away from my mama and my sister. I thought I tossed it discreetly, but they saw me, and they came to pick me up the next day. I couldn’t leave my mama to struggle, bro. I-I couldn’t risk her losing her house and my sister to the system. I was all they had.”
“What about now, though, nigga? What the fuck are you doing to benefit them in your current state? You sacrificed my life to become this?” I tried not to let this get to me, but for a person I called my brother, and I would have given the shirt off my back, to betray me felt like a knife in my chest.
“You didn’t have nobody, bro!”
“I had Dinny! I had plans, dreams, fucking people who looked up to me and needed me! Don’t play that card with me, Terrell. Your fucking moms and sister would have been taken care of, regardless of your fate!
“We were a brotherhood. I would have done anything for you, and you rat me out because you were being a pussy!”
“You would have still done time, Zi. That man pressed charges?—”
“Not fifteen fucking years, nigga! I would have done five easily and been out, enjoying the rest of my twenties!”
“Is y’all done with all this damn sentimental shit?”
My head whipped over to the dope fiend broad that I forgot was even in there with us.
“Bitch, spell sentimental!” I sneered. “Get the fuck out of here!” I roared. She scurried off and out of the house as my eyeswent back to Trouble. I had to rein in my emotions because what was done was done. I couldn’t take back the fifteen years I lost, but it could have been avoided.
“I’m sorry for that shit, man. I couldn’t deal with what I’d done, so I started dealing with it in other ways. You’ve always had a good heart, bro, and it fucked me up bad when you went away. I can’t change what I did, but I want you to know how sorry I am for it, and if I could do shit over, I would take that charge.”
“Get up, man,” I told him, extending my hand to him. He looked at it for a second, then took my hand. I pulled him up and pulled him into my arms. “You owe me, nigga.” I stepped back and placed my hand on the back of his neck. “I’m taking your ass to rehab, and you gon’ get the fuck clean—not only for yourself, but for everybody that fucking loves you and for your future nieces and nephews. You owe that shit to me, T. I know the old you is somewhere in there. Tap the fuck back in, and do this shit for Lil’ Saint, nigga.”
I could see the smirk drawing up on his face as tears slid down his cheeks. I had to make a joke of it because I was hurt, but I also still loved him. Another motherfucka would have killed him. They would have thought he was a waste of space and do him dirty. But we were better than that. Would I ever trust him again? Probably not, but I wouldn’t give up on him. At the end of the day, we made a promise to one another when we were young, and I was someone who kept my promises.
“I-I got you.”
“Good. Let’s go.”
“Na-now?”
“Right now, Stuttering Stanley.”
He scratched his arms as I guided him out of the house.
“Wait! Where are you going, Trouble? I need my shit,”Dopefiend Daisysaid, standing from her seated position on the porch.
“I-I’m off this shit, Shamari. I gotta get clean.”
She laughed. “Nigga, please. Ya ass’ll be back. We always come back.”
My lip turned up at her ass. “I guarantee he won’t. You need to hop yo’ ass in this car, too. Save yourself, lil’ mama.”