“You okay, Sis?” Junie asked, leaning down to whisper so only I could hear.
I nodded. “Yeah, of course.”
“Are you sure? You look like you’re about to break out in hives. And judging by what happened last night, I’d think you were having second thoughts.”
I looked over at her, wanting my big sister to help me with this dilemma. I wanted Zion as much as he wanted me, but I knew I couldn’t stop this wedding from taking place. We were there now, so I knew there was no turning back without embarrassing Akeem.
My phone buzzed again.
I swallowed deeply and swooped it up to silence it. That did nothing but make him call right back.
“Excuse me. I have to take this,” I said, getting up from the chair and hurrying to the bathroom. I locked the door and answered the call.
“Zi, please?—”
“Dinny. You really ran off to marry that nigga?”
I could hear the frustration in his tone, and my heart was in my ass now. “Zion, don’t do this,” I whispered.
“Do what, baby? You promised me, Dinny.”
My eyes closed as I felt a conviction in my heart that forced my eyes to water. The knock on the door made me jump slightly.
“Jordin, it’s time to put on your dress, Sissy,” my sister, Jessica, called through the door.
“I have to go.”
“Dinny, don’t fuc?—”
I hung up before he could tell me not to, and with a heavy heart and a fake smile, I opened the door to go marry a man I wasn’t sure if I wanted to marry anymore.
Once I was dressed in the Vera Wang gown with the sweetheart neckline, Junie handed me my bouquet of purple and white roses and smiled at me.
“You look so beautiful, Sissy.”
I could see her eyes misting. She and Jessie were probably the happiest out of everyone in our family. I wouldn’t say my parents weren’t happy, but they weren’t ecstatic either. They felt as if Akeem’s lifestyle was ruining me and my dreams because I had to dim my light a lot so he could shine. But they let me choose my own path in life and supported me in whatever decisions I made.
I smiled lightly. “Thank you, Junie.”
“Okay, let me stop before I ruin my make-up!” She giggled. “Let’s go.”
Junie and Jessie hadn’t said much about last night. The only thing they said was to be careful with the way I played this. They knew how broken I was about Zion going to prison, and they also knew how much we loved each other—and about the baby I lost due to the stress of his leaving.
I couldn’t bring myself to tell Zion about it, because he was already stressed enough behind those walls. I couldn’t tell him that I had lost the only thing connecting us together. Our baby would have been fifteen now, and that was another reasonI jumped into this shit with Akeem—just being mindless and reckless due to stress and depression.
I stepped out into the hallway of the extravagant venue with my wedding party, videographer, and photographer in tow. I let out a ball of air, straightened my shoulders, and plastered a fake smile on my face.
Zion’s voice kept replaying in my head, and I scolded myself to get it together. Over three hundred people were waiting to witness Akeem and me say our vows to one another. Although I loved Zion with my entire heart, I knew Akeem loved me, too. I loved Akeem, too, just not in the way a woman was supposed to love a man. The only reason I saidyesto his proposal was that he helped me build my career as a media representative, so I couldn’t hurt him like that after three years of being together.
The doors opened, and the music queued for the wedding party to walk down. My father walked over to me, smiled, then dropped a kiss on my forehead.
“You look beautiful, baby.”
I smiled. “Thank you, Daddy.”
“Make You Feel My Love” by Adele queued, alerting me that it was time. My father and I walked down the aisle as I watched Akeem smile brightly. He was happy, while I was beating myself up inside.
Once the music stopped, my father handed me off to Akeem as cameras flashed, and the pastor began his speech. I looked into Akeem’s eyes, looking for any signs that he didn’t want to do this, but I saw none. My face displayed happiness, but internally, I was breaking.