I shouldn’t be surprised, but a part of me is when I hear the door to my room snick shut.He’s gone.He left me.He punished me and then left.
Staying here until the alarm goes off is no hardship.I can’t lift a single limb.I’m exhausted.What I can do is cry.And I cry my eyes out without making a single noise.
It seems like an hour before the timer goes off.It’s so long that I’m done crying and have nearly fallen asleep.I manage to push myself to standing, remove the blindfold, and shuffle toward the bathroom.
Holding my breath, I shut the door, turn on the light, and turn to look in the mirror.
I’m shocked to see that my skin is not broken.My bottom is covered with welts, but that’s all they are, red raised marks.In fact, more stunning is the giant bruise on my inner thigh.It’s already blue and angry.It’s going to be there for a long time.
I turn around and look at myself in the mirror.My face is wrecked.Tear streaks run down my cheeks.My eyes are bloodshot and puffy.My nose is red from snot and sniffling.
What the fuck am I doing to myself?The madness has to end.He’s gone too far.I need to tell someone.I’m going to need counseling for the rest of my life.I don’t know if I’ll even be able to let another man touch me ever.
That thought makes me flinch.Another man?I don’t ever want another man’s hands on me.I want Daddy.I want him to love me and take care of me.I want him to hold me and make love to me.I want him to look me in the eyes and kiss me on the lips.
If I’m a good girl and stop doing things to earn his wrath, he’ll give me everything.I know he will.He’s my Daddy.My perfect match.The only person who has ever given me his undivided attention.
He loves me.He hasn’t said it, but I know he does.I just need to be patient and good.I need to stop doubting and defying him.
The belt wasn’t really so bad.Most of my panic was out of fear that I was bleeding.But I wasn’t.He wouldn’t do that to me.
And fuck, he was also right about my asshole.Of course people have anal sex.He didn’t say we were going to have it tonight.In fact, he was showing me how much he cares about me when he announced he would train my bottom.
I grip my butt cheeks together, though.That’s a hard line.It’s scary and so very dirty.Embarrassing.I wasn’t ready.I’m not sure when I will be.
I do as I was told, use the toilet, wash my hands and face, and climb into bed.I’m so exhausted and wrung out that I fall asleep in seconds.
Seventeen
Rook
“Do you little cocksuckers think you’re ever going to amount to anything?Huh?”
His spittle is disgusting.It sprays around me every time he shouts.It smells nasty, like cigarettes and bad breath.He should brush his teeth.
“Huh?”he shouts louder.“Do you?Because you’re not.You five are trash.Waste of oxygen.You’re not going to last six months in the real world.All five of you will die in prison.You know that, right?You know the world is going to eat you alive when you turn eighteen.You’ll end up on the streets, dealing drugs and stealing cars.”
He’s wrong.He’s wrong.He’s wrong.
Ignore him.
He’s full of shit.He’s nothing but a miserable asshole who has no life.He probably hasn’t been laid in a decade.So he takes it out on us.
But he’s wrong.We have a plan.We’re going to get out of here and prove him wrong.We’ve already applied to colleges.I’m confident we’ll get accepted somewhere local, even if we have to split up.We’re resourceful.We even pooled our meager money and opened a P.O.Box so we could receive mail without it being intercepted.All of our cash comes from mowing lawns.We don’t have many clients, but a few neighbors.
We have a fucking plan.And we’re going to achieve our goals.
“Now, I’m going to ask you fuckers one more time.Who stole the bread from the kitchen?I know one of you motherfuckers did it.Do you think you’re funny?You have ten seconds to fess up or rat out one of your buddies.If I don’t have a name by then, you’ll all be punished.”
He thinks he’s going to get to us, but he’s not.We’re on to him.No one stole any fucking bread.It’s probably not even missing.He just likes to get us all riled up.But we’re over it.He’s just going to have to punish all of us.
It’s not the first time, and it won’t be the last.It angers him even further when he gets no reaction out of us, but we do it anyway.He’s not actually going to kill one of us.We’ve figured that out.He won’t even do anything to cause us to end up in the hospital.It would raise questions from the state.
Nope.He just gets his rocks off, antagonizing us day in and day out.It’s infuriating, but we stopped letting flames come out of our ears two years ago.
We’re so close to getting out of this hellhole.We can do it.We will.
“Fine.I guess you’ve made your decision.You know that stack of bricks by the south wall?They need to be moved to the other side of the house.Stack them by the north wall.One at a time.You can stay out there until the job is done.”