Silver.
Fuck.
He’s going to kill me.And if he does, I won’t be alive to take care of Briana anyway.
Okay, he probably won’tactuallymurder me.But he’s going to want to.It’s not just because I’d be admitting to dating his sister.Silver knows me.He knows I’m not capable of anything normal.He isn’t either.So if he got wind that I’d even looked at his sister, he would know whatever I have with her would be sinister and warped.
And he’s not wrong.I’m a dark soul.I was formed this way through a combination of biology and environment.There’s no coming out of it.It’s who I am.
We’re all dark, my roommates and I.That’s why we came up with the freshman prank in the first place.It fills a weird need in us.Once a year, we purge our anger at society by taking it out on some sweet, innocent girl.She takes away some of the darkness.
Sure, the girls probably never fully recover from our stunts.They’re haunted.They have nightmares.They probably need counseling.But each of them only takes a small piece of the ugly blackness that lives in us.It’s as though it disperses the horror, spreads it out.
Each time we terrorize an innocent girl, we come back to the house feeling slightly lighter, as though another chunk of repulsion leaves our black souls and spreads to someone else.
It’s cruel.We know it.But it keeps us all at bay.It prevents us from committing truly horrifying crimes.It holds us in check.
We only do it once a year at the beginning of the semester.It’s a rule.We agreed upon it five years ago.We’ve all stuck to it, as far as I know.
And as far as my brothers know.They have no idea I’ve crossed all boundaries with Briana.Sure, I’m most concerned about Silver, but the others might be just as furious with me.
We are not rule breakers.It’s ingrained in us.Years of living under Master Drill Sergeant Keagan made us who we are today.Dark, soulless monsters who have learned to make the world around us believe we’re normal members of society.
Long before we aged out of that hellhole of a boys’ home, we had a plan.We’ve stuck to it for years.College was first on our list.We wanted to be better than what we came from.We never wanted to find ourselves at the wrong end of terror again.Financial security would ensure that.
All five of us got into local colleges and universities, and we worked our asses off working and going to school.We rented for a few years while we saved.As soon as we could, we bought a rundown house for a steal.Brimstone House.It was after we graduated that we started the freshman prank.The first year, we didn’t know we would do it again, but it felt so fucking good that we made it a yearly thing.Once a year.No more.One girl.One occasion.No actual sexual assault.No permanent physical damage.Just terrorizing her until she fled, relieved and grateful to be alive.
We spent hours, that first time, sitting around our small living room, each of us telling our own tale.And we felt powerful.So fucking on top of the world.Those five girls took some of our hatred, our pain.
It was mean.Cruel in the worst way.We never should have done it.We definitely shouldn’t have done it again.But we couldn’t stop ourselves.We rationalize that we’re all five ticking time bombs.The sort of people who eventually snap.
We’ve discussed that, too.Every time we watch a news report where some unhinged man goes on a rampage, we see ourselves in him.Lost.Misfits.Guys who are permanently broken and will never fit in with society.
News interviews always uncover a neighbor or relative who will say,“He was the nicest man.I had no idea he was capable of something so evil.I’m just stunned.”
That’s us.That’s me, Silver, Dante, Talon, and Lucien.
We are those stereotypical fucked-up humans, living one step away from snapping.We’re intelligent fuckers with high IQs.We know how to fake our asses off for the sake of society.
But we have darkness in us that needs an outlet, and we’re able to keep it at bay through the yearly freshman prank.
The odd thing is that I feel like a different man since I met Briana.I doubt I’ll ever need to terrorize another woman.I have the better part of a year to make that decision, but I’m lighter already.
I’m still a monster.I know it.I’m taking and taking and taking from her.She’s fueling my soul.I think the blackness is a tiny bit closer to gray since I met her.She’s…inside me.Like she’s part of me.
I keep thinking this can’t last.Since that first time, I’ve thought that there was no way she could be what I needed.I didn’t even know what the fuck that was.But it’s clearer every day.I need to control someone.
I need to controlBriana.She gives me energy.
A fuckton of research in the past few weeks has shown me that I’m not an outlier on this issue.The world is filled with Dominants who crave the sort of control I desire.Luckily, the world is also filled with submissives who want to turn over their power to a Dom.
It doesn’t have to be a man or a woman in either role.It could be reversed.But I’m me, and I’m a man.So that’s where I’ve focused my research.Male Doms who are looking for a female submissive.
Not just a submissive.Almost a slave.A part of me hates that term.She’s not really a slave.Not in the sense that I want her on her hands and knees kissing my feet and licking my shoes—though the visual does have its merits.
No.I’m more interested in the level of control she will give over to me.And fuck, but she’s exceeding my wildest imagination.The girl needs someone to dominate her at least as badly as I need to be that person.
She’s scared.As she should be.Every time I add something new, she doubts herself.I would be concerned if she didn’t.But she comes through.She finds the will.She gives and gives and gives to me.