His knee jolts up and down, fingers grasping his thighs. “Most of my life, but it’s gotten worse in the past few months.”
“And when you say anxiety, tell me how that feels to you.”
He stands and starts to pace. Back and forth, back and forth. “It’s like… something terrible is going to happen. I don’t know what. I don’t know why. But I know it will.”
“Is this anxiety always there, or is it worse at certain times?”
He continues pacing. “It’s always crawling under my skin, buzzing like a live wire. But it’s worse with the thoughts.”
“The intrusive thoughts? Tell me about them.”
“I have these thoughts about people I don’t know. I see them once, and then I can’t stop thinking about them. I imagine conversations with them. I wonder what they’re doing. I know it’s not normal. That I shouldn’t be so fixated.”
“Do the thoughts ever make you want to harm someone?”
He finally stops his pacing, swivelling to face me. “Sometimes.”
“Have you ever harmed anyone, Liam?”
He’s in front of me in a flash. “Never. You have to believe me.”
I rear back. “Okay, I believe you.”
He holds up his hands. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”
I place a hand on my chest to calm my racing heart. “It’s okay. Let’s continue.”
The rest of the session is uneventful.
When Liam finally leaves, I’m grateful. Tension lifts from my shoulders for the first time in an hour.
15
Maybe I Overreacted
Eli's Search History: Are British Blue Shorthair cats prone to travel anxiety?
Eli
Inhindsight—maybeIoverreacted.
I shouldn’t have let her words get to me.
It’s fine.
I’m fine.
My father is not the reason for why I like to stalk.
Anyway, even if he might have been the reason for my initial obsessive tendencies, he definitely isn’t a factor now.
I’ve broken the cycle.
I’ve been cured.
Now, all my focus is on Emily.
I felt bad for my outburst, and for quitting the therapy sessions, so I did something I think will get her back on my good side.