The next words get stuck in my throat, but I force them out anyway. “I want to apologize to you.”
Shapely brows arch over bulging eyes. “You . . . want to apologize...to me?”
“That’s right. I blamed you for many things over the years, but the last few weeks taught me that none of it matters.”
Her hand tightens around her glass, shaking the ice within.
“I also wanted to tell you something important. We’ve disliked each other for quite some time, but I need you to know that this does not come from a place of hate but of concern.”
My former nemesis seems to have gotten a handle on her shock; her face has regained its normal haughty expression. “Go on.”
Maybe there would have been a time when I relished telling her this, but I’ve let go of all my past hurt. I haven’t exactly been kind to her either. “On our journey back from The Divide, Nolan asked me to reconcile.”
Something flickers through her eyes, and her lips flatten into a grim line.
“I swear I’m not trying to hurt you?—”
“No, no. It’s all right. I . . . appreciate you telling me.” She waves a hand between us, the pink polish on her fingernails glittering in the lamplight. “The truth is, I know Nolan doesn’t love me. To be honest, I’m not sure I love him either.”
Of all the responses I anticipated, this was not one of them.
If that’s true— “Then why did you ask him to marry you?” Why tie herself to someone who doesn’t hold her heart?
Her short nails trill against the glass. Part of me expects her to tell me to mind my own bloody business. Instead, sheblows out a breath and says, “Because life is complicated. And sometimes we don’t get what we want.”
Lifeiscomplicated, but that doesn’t mean she cannot have happiness of her own.
“You deserve to find someone who loves you.”
Her answering smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “Thank you.” Her rosy skirt sweeps across my slippers as she slips off the stool, abandoning what’s left of her drink and leaving the pub entirely.
When I turn around, I find Kerris staring at me like I’ve just flashed the entire pub. “Were you just nice to Ivee Lynch?” She hands me a fizzy pint of amber cider.
“I’m twenty-five now. Very mature.”
“So mature.”
I hold out my glass for a toast, only to realize she doesn’t have a drink of her own. “Why’d you buy a drink for me and not yourself? I’m finally twenty-five—we need to celebrate.” And that starts with a toast. I take her hand, pulling her into the crowd. A handful of guards trail behind us, Nolan Graham among them. I nod in greeting but feel no need to speak with him.
“It feels like we’ve been talking about this day forever.” I remember writing to her, planning for when we were both finally old enough to wed. My many thoughts over the ridiculousness of having to wait.
There’s a gap at the bar next to Everett and his friend Gryffin, like no one has the nerve to stand too close to the king or his friend. With the way they scowl, I don’t blame them.
Kerris laughs, coming to a halt before we reach him. “It’s water for us tonight, I’m afraid.”
“You’re mad if you think I’m drinking water.” Who celebrates with water? Honestly, didn’t I teach her better than this?
Kerris slides a hand over her stomach, and?—
Wait. She isn’t talking about her and me. Bloody hell. “Don’t tell me you’re pregnant.”
“Shhh!” She slams her palm over my mouth, her gaze darting around the busy pub. “It’s still early days, so we aren’t telling many people yet.”
I can’t believe it. My cousin is going to be a mother.
When she drops her hand, I lean close to whisper, “Everett Gathin certainly doesn’t mess around, does he?”
“No. He. Does. Not,” she says with a smirk and final pat of her abdomen.