“It was you all along…” All this time, I thought I was mad, that this intense pull toward a stranger must be all in my fucked-up head. But Wynn really was Allette.
And she has been hiding in my home all this time. “Why didn’t you tell me?” She has had plenty of chances, and yet she chose to hide behind a mask instead.
“Because you’ve clearly moved on—erased all traces of me.” She takes another step away and lifts her palm, revealing the silver scar marking our bond.
I drop the glamour I’ve worn for the last four years and stretch my scarred hand to hers. “How can I erase what is written on my heart? On my soul?”
She opens her mouth to respond, but then the curtains flutter and a woman with short, silver hair steps into our alcove. “Are you all right, Wynn?” the woman asks, casting me a wary glance.
I grab Allette’s hand. My girl was separated from me once, and I will not let it happen ever again.
“I’m fine, Braith,” Allette says, her hand limp in my grip.
Braith’s brow furrows, but she nods and says she’ll wait for Allette outside. Before the curtains fall back into place, I catch a glimpse of the man I struck. Blood oozes from his nose, dripping down his lips and chin.
Who is he? Are he and Allette just friends? Maybe distant relatives? Gods, tell me they aren’t lovers. Not that I have a leg to stand on after throwing myself away for so long.
“Senan, the last four years have been hell.” Allette’s voice rings with resignation as she slips her hand from mine. “I’ve finally found a semblance of happiness and purpose. We both knew this had to end—we were fools to believe otherwise, for trying to defy the stars.” She retreats a step. “You need to let me go.”
How can she bear to say those words? All I want is to hold her. To breathe her in. And yet the barrier in her eyes feels more impossible to overcome than any realm keeping us apart. “Allette, please. Don’t leave me.” I won’t survive losing her a second time.
“I’m sorry.” She turns and pushes through the curtains, falling into the arms of her female friend. The two of them squeeze through the crowd and run toward the door, disappearing into the night. It takes every ounce of strength I possess not to sprint after Allette and spend the rest of my days begging her to reconsider.
The stars must be laughing at me now. How pathetic I must seem to them. To her. Pining all these years, ruining my life over a handful of precious memories.
This cursed bond between us is nothing more than a fallacy.
Even as the thought drifts through my mind, I know it’s not true.
What I feel for Allette is as real as the scar on my left hand.
I recall my glamour, hiding my mating bond where the world cannot touch it. When I emerge from the alcove and find the guards still detaining the man I struck, bile boils in my gut. Singes my throat. Drips like acid on my tongue.
All it takes is a word for them to drag the man out of the bar. A few Tuath protest and shoot accusatory looks my way, but I pay them no mind. They can hate me all they want, curse me as well. Nothing hurts as much as knowing Allette is alive but no longer mine.
I retrieve the vial of stardust from the privy and fly straight to the castle. The moment I step inside my room, I drag a blade across my palm and dump dust over the wound.
For the first time since I started using three years ago, the light doesn’t clear the shadows from my mind. Instead, the darkness morphs into my love’s tear-streaked face the momentshe told me to let her go. And then I see the silver-haired man touching not just my mate’s hand but her body as well.
I slam my fist into the marble wall over and over again, until blood splatters across my cheeks and my hand feels like minced meat.
And then I sink to the floor and cry.
Thirty-Two
ALLETTE
He found me.
Not once did it cross my mind that Senan and I might run into each other tonight. Yes, I’d seen him stumble out of the infamous bar the night I returned from the human realm, but I’d hoped that wasn’t a regular occurrence. Now I’ve seen him, and he has seen me and…Stars.I don’t know how I had the strength to walk away. I make it to the other side of the square and down the next street before this invisible tether that binds me to my prince refuses to let me take another step.
What have I done?
You’ve protected yourself.
I already lost Senan. Grieved and mourned him. Moved on.
I almost laugh. “Moved on” is a bit of a stretch, but Ihavefound a semblance of peace and learned how to live with a broken heart. If I’d thrown myself at him the way I longed to do, I would’ve been right back where I started four years ago.