I press the heels of my palms to my eyes, willing these blasted tears to stop. Braith’s hands fall to my shoulders, rubbing reassuring circles until my breathing calms. “Listen to me,” she says softly, soothingly. “I don’t know what happened, but I do know that if you leave, you will be replaced before the day is through. People would give anything for a chance to work here. The situation in Kumulus City is growing more dire by the day. Outside of the factory, there are almost no respectable jobs—and finding one that pays a decent wage is nearly impossible. The shelters aren’t safe for single women, so you’ll have to pay for housing as well. All I’m saying is that you need to really think about this decision instead of letting your emotions get the better of you.”
She is right. Of course she is. If I lose this job, there is no telling where I’ll end up. Although, if Jeston reports the broken dishes, I may not have a choice. “If the House Master finds out what happened, that will be my second strike. One more, and I’m gone.” Will they give me my wages before I leave or withhold them to cover the cost of the broken dishes?
Braith’s arms slip around my back, pulling me in for a tight hug. “You forget that I saw everything. I’ll make sure Jeston knows this wasn’t your fault. This won’t get back to the House Master, I swear it.”
Does she really have that sort of influence with Jeston? For all we know, he could be talking to the man right now.
She presses a hand to my hair. “I’ll go sort it out for you, all right? Will I come back and stay with you tonight?”
Yes. Please stay with me. I don’t want to be alone anymore.“No. I’ll be all right.” I can’t lean on her, not when I don’t know how long she’ll be around.
Braith gives my shoulder a final pat. “I’ll be right down the hall if you need me. Try to get some rest. Tomorrow will be better. I promise.”
While I appreciate her optimism, she doesn’t have all the facts.
Nothing can make this better.
Nothing at all.
Twenty-Five
SENAN
I leap over the railing,letting myself fall toward the moon-kissed clouds far below, not bothering to count the number of balconies on my way down, down,down.
Everywhere I look, I seeher.
And there is only one way to make it stop.
The thick clouds always feel like they should catch me, but they never do. Like everything else in this world, they let me fall. A dark blur speeds across my peripherals a split second before thick arms snap around my torso, jerking my whole body back up toward the disappointing clouds as Bell’s mammoth gray wings catch the updraft.
“I’ve had enough,” he snarls. “You don’t get to do this. Not on my watch.”
There is no point fighting. Bell is as strong as a fucking ox. “You should’ve let me fall.” At least then I’d be at peace.
“I like my head on my shoulders.”
How chivalrous, saving me only to save himself.
“Your brother is expecting you in the privy chamber with the advisors from Nimbiss,” Bell says, as if I need the reminder, landing on the lowest balcony ringing the east tower.
I’ve done enough for my king today. “That is too bad because I am going to the bar.”
“Sire—”
I hold up a hand, cutting off his protest. “You can either accompany me or leave me to my own devices. The choice is yours.”
Bell glances toward the tower where my brother and the advisors are meeting, then back to me. “Not tonight.”
“I’ll pay you ten gold coins for three hours.” That is twice as much as I usually give him to turn a blind eye.
His lips flatten, and he blows out a harsh breath, dragging his hand down the back of his neck. “Ten gold coins for one hour.”
Who cares if it costs me a hundred gold coins? I can’t stay another second in the castle.
The bar is blessedlyempty save the uneven chords from the lyre player in the back. I plonk down on the closest stool and lift my hand toward the bartender. “Two of your finest ales, please, Mikel.”
“I don’t drink,” Bell says, as if I don’t already know my pious guard abstains from everything enjoyable. It’s a wonder his wife is pregnant at all.