Despite the light streaming through my pores, darkness chokes me. I saw her, dammit.That’s what you said the last time. This time, it’s true.Then why are you still alone?
Bell keeps going to the far side of the street, where the rest of the guards wait. “It’s time to get you home.”
Home.
Such a funny way to describe a place that feels neither safe nor welcoming.
“Why can’t you do this when I’m off duty?” he mutters under his breath. “The king is going to have my head now. And yours.”
I’m not scared of the king. What is he going to do to me, anyway? Make me want to gouge out my own eyes? Too late. Bore me to tears? Already happened. Force me into a life I don’t want? Old news.
When I drop my glamour and stretch my wings, I accidentally knock into some poor woman. “So sorry. Didn’t see you there.”
Bell’s fingers circle my wrist. “I can’t let you fly in this state, sire.”
What state? “I’m fine.” Miserable and empty, but fine.
“You’re not fine. You just apologized to a statue.”
“She isn’t a statue, she—” I peer up at the woman. My starlight flickers off her bronzed features. Definitely a statue.
Knowing better than to protest when my guard is in a mood, I follow Bell up the hill, making it about ten minutes before my boots start rubbing my heels. If I’m not careful, I’ll end up with blisters. Blisters are the worst. Even worse than a broken nose. I don’t need my nose for anything but smelling, but I need my feet. “My legs are tired, and I’m getting blisters.”
Bell doesn’t slow his pace. “Remember that next time you stardust.”
There won’t be a next time. After this, I’m done. “Carry me. Please? I’ll love you forever and ever if you do.”
The guards behind us snicker.
“No. Now, hurry up.”
By the time we reach the base of the mountain beneath the castle, my skin no longer glows, which is probably a good thing considering the last time my brother found me using, he threatened to exile me.
As I stare up at dawn painting the castle’s white walls a warm gold, exile sounds like a preferable alternative to returning to that cage.
“Are you all right to fly or do I need to carry you?” Bell asks.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re sure?”
“I said I’m fine.” I have to assure Bell three more times before he lets me try.
I manage to make it to the balcony outside my bedchambers without ramming into anything, which is a victory, all things considered. Although the landing leaves me with a turned ankle and a bruised knee. I hobble into my room only to catch my fucking thigh on the corner of my fucking chaise and careen head-first onto the carpet.
Has the carpet always been this thick and soft? Has the bed always been so far away? Maybe I’ll sleep here.
“Do I want to know where you’ve been?” calls a voice I’d hoped to avoid until at least noon. The king stalks from the other side of my room, his long, onyx hair falling free past his shoulders instead of in its usual leather queue. “Gods, Senan. Is that blood?”
“Don’t know.” My nose gives an answering pulse. “Probably.”
Boris comes to a halt next to my head. I close my eyes so I don’t have to see his disapproving glare. “Have you lost your mind?” He nudges my shoulder with his boot. “You are to be married in twenty-one days, and you look as if you’ve been thrown from the tower with your wings bound.”
Can’t he tell I’m trying to sleep? I roll away from him, tucking my hands beneath my head for an extra comfortable pillow.
“You haven’t been sober since you visited your betrothed six months ago,” he goes on.
That is a bit of a stretch. I wake up sober every morning, don’t I?