Snorting, the woman shoved my handkerchief at my chest. The white square drifted into the muck at our feet. Her brown teeth flashed when she sneered and said, “No one can love a monster.” Her skirts flung mud across my boots when she whirled and stalked toward the market.
No one can love a monster.
We monsters needed to stick together.
I opened my notebook and added Polly’s name to the register next to the pooka’s.
And then I named their child Regan and added the little one’s name as well.
* * *
Aveen stumbled toward the cliff, her golden curls tangling in the wind. I stretched out a hand, catching her shoulder right before she reached the edge. She twisted toward me.
When I saw her swollen stomach, I startled and lost my grip.
She missed a step and dropped like a stone toward the gnashing waves a thousand feet below, screamingHelp meuntil the sound was cut off by a sharpcrack.
I flew upright, peering around the darkened room for a face I wouldn’t find. Aveen was gone. Forever? I feckin’ hoped not. Then again, it had been four months since she’d banished me from her life, so who really knew?
The candle on the desk had burned down to the candlestick. I hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but that’s what happened when you read books as boring asThis History of Magic. I rested my elbows on either side of the thick tome still open on my lap and let my head fall into my hands. It didn’t matter that I couldn’t see the words written on the yellowed pages. The text hadn’t been the slightest bit useful. No matter how many books I read, none of them held information on the fate of a mortal made immortal using a cursed blade.
I presumed Aveen would age as we did. She’d shifted my dagger, so she must have access to at least some of Tadhg’s power. And she’d come back after the Queen had…
A shudder ran down my spine; the terror of watching her die still plagued my head and my heart. I didn’t know how to let it go. The Queen could kill me a hundred times over and I’d find a way to move on. But knowing my love for Aveen put her in constant danger left me crazed.
I pushed the book off my lap and threw my legs over the side of the bed. On my way to the window, I hooked the wine bottle on the bedside table between my fingers. Stars winked far above, hiding secrets no one would ever know.
A figure waited on the knoll beyond the castle gates, holding a candle aloft, the shuddering flame bright enough to highlight strands of red hair tangling in the wind. I screwed my eyes shut and drank straight from the long neck until all that remained was another empty bottle.
When I opened my eyes again, the ghost had disappeared.
I saw Leesha almost every day now. Some sort of dark magic wielded by the Queen, no doubt. If my mother’s aim had been to drive me mad, she’d succeeded. Even when I didn’t see Leesha, her spirit still haunted me all the same. A constant reminder of how I had failed the woman I once loved. Of how I couldn’t let the same fate befall my soulmate.
I wasn’t sure how long I’d been standing there when Eava’s soft humming found its way through the door. The old bat was the only person in this place who checked on me.
A knock rattled the bottles lying against the door. “Rían? I’ve made ye dinner.”
I didn’t want dinner. I didn’t want anything but to be left alone. Still, she continued going through the trouble day in, day out. The least I could do was take a few bites to make her happy. “Leave it at the door.”
“Come now, my boy. Wouldn’t ye like some company?”
Aveen was the only company I craved, and she wanted nothing to do with me.
“Yer hair must be getting outta sorts,” Eava went on. “I can give ye a trim while I’m at it.”
I dragged a hand through my thick hair that grew like a weed.
Aveen loved weeds.
Sighing, I flopped onto the bed. The strands at the front fell into my eyes, but I shoved them right back. Probably should’ve cut it, but not tonight.
“Maybe tomorrow.” That’s what I told her every night she did this. Maybe this time, it would be true. I scratched my stubbled cheek. How did Tadhg stand it? My face itched so feckin’ bad. Eventually I’d have to do something about that too.
Once Eava’s shuffling steps faded into silence, I got up and kicked past the sea of empty bottles to collect a shirt from the floor. A tray of lamb stew waited in the hallway, along with a plate of cherry tarts still warm from the oven. I choked down what I could of the stew and shifted the tarts to the fireplace. I didn’t need more reminders of what I’d lost.
I needed to make sure Aveen was all right.
I grabbed my pack from the floor and slung the strap over my shoulder. The thought of running into anyone downstairs made me want to hit something, so I evanesced out to the gates, crossed the wards, and went straight to the portal in Hollowshade.