I smoothed my hands down my skirts until their shaking subsided and then I blew out a harsh breath.
I’d rather live a short, fulfilled life than an eternal, empty one.
Tightening my grip on the dagger, I braced one hand against the wall and wedged the blade between the boards covering my window. With a few twists and a bit of leverage, the nail holding the corner came free.
One by one, the barriers fell until nothing except muted gray light filtered through the grimy pane. I missed Tearmann’s sunshine and warmth. Most of all, I missed the person I’d been while being held “captive” in Rían’s castle. Unburdened, living in the moment, falling in love with a wicked prince.
A wicked prince I’d kicked out of my house.
He’d be back, though. Give him a week, maybe two, and he’d see the error of his ways. Then he’d return, and we could heal ourselves together and find happiness once more.
I left the bedroom to work on the boards blocking the kitchen and living room windows. Then I let the dagger fall to the ground and stepped outside.
Part of me expected to hit some sort of barrier, like the one around the castle in Tearmann. Instead, I sauntered straight into the dull day and filled my lungs with frigid, salt-laced air.
After growing up on the coast in Graystones, the rhythmic song and familiar scents of the sea lived deep in my marrow. But ever since my foray into the Black Forest, nothing about the ocean brought me comfort.
The waves no longer soothed, they smothered.
The olive-green fingers of seaweed looked as if they wanted to wrap around my ankles and drag me to the depths.
Instead of cooling, the relentless breeze made me sweat.
My insides quivered as I blew a breath through cracked lips.
Men had controlled me for my entire life, and I refused to let fear do the same.
I forced one foot in front of the other, walking away from the sea, over the bank, and toward the forest.
In a few months, my sister would return from the Underworld, and I vowed to be in Tearmann when she woke.
It was time to figure out my magic.
2
AVEEN
Perhaps I had beena bit optimistic thinking I could teach myself to do something I had never done before. I’d spent all of two hours yesterday standing next to the portal like a fool, trying to call on the latent power smoldering in my chest and nothing had happened.
Unless you counted being shat on by a bird.
That was the moment I gave up and returned to my cold, empty cottage to try and get some sleep. And I had slept…until a creepy scraping noise startled me awake. I sat in that room with the quilt to my chin, cursing myself for sending Rían away. But after ten minutes of scratching and scraping, I figured if the Queen had come for me, she probably would have done so in a more dramatic fashion, and if the noise was a burglar, he probably wasn’t that good at his job because it should not have taken that long to break into my cottage.
So I’d grabbed one of Rían’s daggers, padded through the dark living room, rammed my shin off the coffee table, and then threw the door aside only to find my goat passed out on the stoop like a guard dog, his back hoof scraping against the doorframe as he twitched.
After a few more fitful hours of sleep, I returned to the well to practice. And by practice, I meant standing around with my eyes closed, trying to get this bloody magic todo something.
Just as I had that night in the alley when Robert had attacked me, I imagined the cool weight of Rían’s dagger. The smooth hilt. The sharp, glinting blade. I swore I could feel the weapon in my outstretched palm, but when I looked, there was nothing there.
How had I managed to shift the thing without even knowing I possessed Tadhg’s power?
I closed my eyes and tried again. And again. Andagain.
Each time ended in the same bloody result: an empty hand and disappointment in my gut. Where the hell was this magic when I needed it?
The budding trees creaked and groaned.I kicked a loose stone at the closest mossy trunk. At least no one was here to witness my complete and utter failure.
As if fate had heard my internal musings and laughed, a dark shadow moved in my peripherals.