Why hadn’t he told me?
Why hadn’t he trusted me?
By the time I reached our chambers, I still couldn’t catch my breath. The unmade bed we’d shared mocked me as a fool.
“Roisin?” The door opened, and Caiman was there, hesitating at the threshold. “May I come in?”
“You are the king now. You may do whatever you like.”
“Please, allow me explain.”
“What’s there to explain? You knew what he was like—that he was too proud for his own good and would never back down from a challenge. And he went off to spite you and got himself killed.”
Alrec had been a grown man capable of making his own decisions, a man raised to be king. He should’ve known better than to go marching off to war simply because of some argument. As much as I wanted to blame Caiman for that, I knew I couldn’t.
“Roisin—”
“All anyone on this island has done is lie to me. I thought you were different.”
“Roisin, please,” he reached for my hand.
I jerked out of his grasp. “Don’t touch me.” It may not have been his fault that Alrec was gone, but it was his fault he’d never told me the truth.
“I hated my brother with every fiber of my being. But, as much as I hated him, I wish I’d bitten my tongue and kept my mouth shut. I live with my guilt every single day, eating away at me like acid.” His voice broke. Tears spilled from his dark eyes. “I can’t help wondering . . . I wonder if my father’s death is my fault too. If he would have pulled through if his beloved son had lived. If he’d given up that bit quicker because of it.”
“Alrec’s death is not your fault. And neither is your father’s. But this.” I gestured between us. “Making the decision to keep this from me—tolieto me—is.”
Our entire relationship had been built on a foundation of deceit.
And I wasn’t sure I had it in my heart to forgive him.
22
CAIMAN
One Month Later
I woke in an empty bed.Padded through an empty room. Caught my empty expression in the mirror. All the emptiness in my life was nothing compared to the emptiness in my heart.
That’s what lies did. They left you empty.
If only I had learned that lesson before it was too late.
I took my breakfast alone in my room, the same way I had every day since Kerrington had exposed my treachery to the council. Lord Devon and the rest of the counsellors had assured me that, while my actions had not been advisable, Alrec’s death was of his own making.
If only I could agree with them.
When I finished my poached eggs and toast, I grabbed the same black coat I’d worn for the last three days and started for the door, where my newest guard waited with his back to the wall. He was the third man to fill the position this month. If he didn’t stop huffing and puffing like he was trying to blow the walls down, he’d get the boot as well. By the time I reached the council chambers, I’d had enough.
When a tall man stepped from the alcove outside the chamber doors, my lips formed their first genuine smile in a month. “Broderick. You’re back early.” He’d written that he would return to Vellana by the end of the month, but I hadn’t anticipated him being back so soon. “I like the beard. It suits.” I scrubbed my own smooth chin self-consciously.
Broderick dipped his head, his hair a touch longer than he usually wore it. “Thank you, your highness. How goes all at the castle?”
I opened my mouth to respond, but then Roisin sauntered into view, and words failed me.
Her turquoise skirts swayed when she walked. The way she’d fashioned her silver hair into a knot at her nape showcased her long, slender neck. And the strand of diamonds from Alrec that she hadn’t taken off for weeks.
“Broderick,” she greeted with a wide smile. “It is good to see you looking so well.”