“I understand,” I say again.
“And Thea?” She pauses at the door. “Be careful whom you trust with this information. The fewer people who know you’re asking questions about Kolya’s operations, the better.”
“Of course. I won’t tell anyone.”
“Good.” She flashes me that professional smile again, as if we just wrapped up a nondescript business meeting. “I’ll be back intouch when I have information. Take care of yourself. And the baby.”
Then she’s gone.
I stay seated in the small sitting room, looking out the window. I watch as Amanda slides gracefully behind the wheel of a sleek white sports car and drives off.
Something about the conversation had felt off. I’m not sure what it was; Amanda was helpful and understanding. But all the same, there’d been something in her tone, in the way she looked at me.
Don’t be paranoid,I tell myself.She’s been nothing but supportive since she found out about the baby. She’s trying to help.
But the feeling lingers.
I make my way back upstairs, my hand unconsciously settling on my stomach as I walk.
It’s still so surreal—the idea that there’s a tiny life growing inside me, that by the end of the year, I’ll be holding Gabriel’s child.
Ourchild.
I pause at the window on the landing and look out over the grounds. My gaze moves from the security perimeter to the high walls to the discreet cameras I’ve learned to spot.
This is the world that my baby will be born into. It’s a world where his or her mother has a bounty on her head, where theirfather has a criminal empire, where violence and murder are a simple fact of life.
Is this what I want for my child? This beautiful, yet dangerous, impossible life?
The alternative is what? Running? Disappearing? Raising a child in hiding, always looking over my shoulder, never settling anywhere long enough to call it home?
At least here, in Gabriel’s world, there’s protection and resources, a man who would kill for me without a second thought.
And there’s love.
That’s what changes everything. The love I feel for this child and the love I feel for Gabriel, even though neither of us has been brave enough to utter the word to the other.
I think about the warmth he’s shown me since he learned about the baby, how he looks at me now with not just desire but something much deeper.
I press my palm flat against my stomach, a smile spreading on my face as I do.
“I’m going to protect you,” I whisper. “Whatever it takes. Whatever world you’re born into—I’m going to make sure you’re safe, loved, and wanted.”
It’s a promise not just to my unborn child, but also to myself.
CHAPTER 35
THEA
“You look pale,” Liza says as I enter the laundry room.
Without responding, I step over to the massive pile of linens and begin folding. My mind is going in a dozen different directions.
“It’s fine.” The lie comes naturally, automatically. Sometimes, I find myself a little scared at how easily I’m able to deceive these days. “Just tired.”
“You’re not just tired,” she says, “you’re pregnant.”
“It’s—”