“Thea?” His voice is heavy with sleep. He sits up slowly. “What’s wrong? Are you?—”
“I couldn’t sleep.”
He stays silent, waiting for me to say more.
“I don’t want to be alone,” I admit. “I’m still mad at you. And I know I should probably stay away until I figure out how I feel about everything. But I—” My voice cracks a little. “I just can’t be alone right now.”
He continues to regard me silently. For a second, I’m sure that he’s going to tell me to leave him alone. But he doesn’t. Instead, he pulls the covers back without a word. I cross to the bed and climb in.
He doesn’t touch me. He just lies there. I can feel the tension and heat radiating from him.
“I’m sorry,” he says quietly.
“I know.”
“I should’ve told you everything from the beginning. I should’ve told you the first day.”
“Yes.”
“I was wrong.”
I let his words hang in the air for a long moment. Then I turn to face him.
“You made some bad calls. But you’re also right. If you’d come to me before the auction and told me the truth, I wouldn’t have believed you. And even if there had been even the smallest chance I did believe you, I would’ve run.”
“Still, I lied to you. Deceived you.”
“You did.” I reach out, my hand finding his in the dark. “But I understand why you did it, even if I hate that you did.”
His fingers close around mine, and he squeezes my hand gently. I wish that this small gesture didn’t affect me so much, but it does.
“I don’t know how to trust you,” I whisper. “You’re a man who used me and saved me all wrapped up in one. And I don’t know whether I’m falling hard for you or I’ve just convinced myself that I need you because you’re the only safe thing in a world that doesn’t want me dead.”
“I don’t know either,” he says finally after a long moment. “But I know that when you’re not with me, I can’t breathe. I know that every time I look at you, I see everything I didn’t know I wanted. And I know for damn sure that if Kolya or anyone else touches you, I’ll burn this city to the ground.”
I don’t have anything to say to that.
His hand moves to my face, cupping my cheek.
“Whatever this thing is between us, fucked up as it may be, it’s the realest goddamn thing I’ve ever felt.”
I close my eyes and kiss him.
It doesn’t feel desperate or frantic. It feels necessary. Natural even, like breathing, like I don’t need to hold myself in check anymore and I can just be.
He kisses me back, parting his lips, his tongue finding mine, his taste so familiar. Gabriel groans into the kiss, one hand sliding into my hair, the other finding the zipper at the back of my dress.
“Tell me to stop,” he says against my lips.
“No.”
“Thea.”
“I need this,” I say. “I need you.” I pull back enough to look into those gorgeous eyes. “That’s why I’m here. That’s why I’m in your bed. I’m tired of pretending otherwise.”
His eyes search mine.
“Lie back.”