“I—” Whatever she was going to say fell short as she shook her head, meekly looking around herself. “It is just strange, is all, to think that might be true.”
Lucien paused as they reached the dance floor, taking a second to unhook her arm from the crook of his elbow so he could position her to face him. He placed his hands on her, one loosely clutching her waist, the other taking her hand in his.
“Is it too much?”
Elinor hesitated as though she wanted to sayyesbut she finally shook her head again. “Nothing is too much when I am doing this for the children at Fielding House.”
Lucien nodded, trying not to think about his own reminder to her when she had kept pressing him the other night in Fielding House. He had meant it, yes, but part of him selfishly hoped she had continued doing this for him, too.
Because she enjoyed his company, perhaps.
He pushed those thoughts from his head. He did not need to doubt such foolish things.
The music strummed, and he led Elinor into the first step. As they danced, he couldn’t stop gazing at her, even if she struggled to look at him in return. She was too busy looking around herself, too busy noticing others staring at her, and every time her shoulders began to pull inward, Lucien found a way to twirl her around, helping her loosen them.
Elinor, you deserve to stand proudly, he thought.You deserve to be more than a wallflower, whether you pulled yourself into that position, or others pushed you into it. You deserve to step into the sun and grow.
His thoughts spun as much as they did, and Lucien was not used to having such chaos happening in his mind, not for the longest time.
It made him realize just how much Elinor was beginning to change him, and he was not certain about it. Not at all, yet he would not halt this for the world, at least not yet. Not until he had to.
Yet, as they concluded their dance, he felt a strange discomfort at the thought of the arrangement being over.
“Where are you going?”
Elinor startled at Belinda’s voice the following evening as she walked down the hallway towards a side entrance that led out to the stables, intent on checking that everything was prepared for her late-night departure to Fielding House. She wasn’t leaving yet, and still had a couple of hours to wait out, but she still felt caught.
“I—I left something in my saddle bag after my ride with His Grace earlier today.”
They had gone on a very public ride through Hyde Park, Elinor sitting side-saddle, while he trotted alongside her with ease. She had learned his ash-gray stallion was called Polaris, and she had fought the urge to speak about the constellation, fearful of who would overhear them.
There is a twinkle in your eye, he had noted.You have something you wish to say, and I would like to hear it.
But she had been adamant. Her stepmother had already warned her over breakfast that morning that she wasthrowing herself at the duke, and it was embarrassing to see.
Elinor knew she was not; she was only going along with him, but the comment had made her face burn while Belinda sniggered.
“Ah, yes, I heard about that,” Belinda sniffed. “It is a shame I was out at Lady Margaret’s for tea when you left. I would have accompanied you.”
“His Grace was my chaperone, and I had my lady’s maid.” Elinor frowned, her nerves fluttering. Belinda slowly stalked towards her, her fingers curled claw-like.
“You know, the whole ton is gossiping about you, wondering how you captured his attention, and I am still wondering the same. You are plain, Elinor. You are boring, and even if you were stood next to the blandest wall in this house, it would still be more interesting than you.”
Elinor flinched at the insult, knowing that her cruel words were the reason she kept questioning Lucien on his interest in her.
“My—my dance card …” She began defensively. “It was filling up at the Hales’s ball.”
“Yes, because suitors feel sorry for you,” Belinda sneered. “They are chasing a morbid curiosity. It is not because theywantyour company. Mercy, whoever would?”
Elinor swallowed. She had grown accustomed to the hatred Belinda harbored for her, but her words stung even more now. Beyond her fake engagement, what Belinda said could be the remaining truth. Lucien’s attention was helping, yes, but Elinor had no interest in suitors, and she usually did not care about the interest she never received.
But after their engagement was broken off publicly, where would that leave her?
“It is a shame,” Belinda sighed. “Mother was right. Hewillcome to his senses one day, and this thrill you have at thinking you are the ton’s new, shiny toy will go. Suitors will once again forget about you, or they might come back for that lingering curiosity, but remember, it will always be out of pity. It will never be because they want you.”
“Why must you be so cruel to me, Belinda?” Elinor managed to say through her tight throat. “What did I ever do to you?”
“His Grace was supposed to bemine.”